Narcissist in Workshop

Ever attended those behavioral trainings? Team building, motivation, creative ideas, synergy thingy? Did you observe the following?

- You don't need trainings/ workshops and the rest are idiots.

-Someone 'will' arrive late.

- In trainings/ workshops, there will always be a loudmouthed person who objects to concepts and subsequently "no use" mantra.

- Does the trainer hate you? He does not give you the attention you deserve.

- Either the trainer is very enthusiastic or is a good actor.

- (what the trainer is saying) Thats obvious.

- The number of shapes and figures on your notebook starts to decrease as time passes.

- Tea breaks rule!

- I'll rather take tea alone instead of standing with those guys.

- To pee or not to pee?

- There is always an argument taking place when its lunch time.

- This guy will doze off.

- The trainer introduced this exercise just to stretch the training till 5!

- Why does that 'girl' end up being the member of other group?

- Why can't they (the participants) do it right in a group exercise?

- During a group exercise, you have a good idea but the morons do not get it.

- (in case your group did not win) I knew it. This was bound to happen.

- (morning) Why does 'that' guy show off so much? we already know what he is so enthusiastically telling.

-(afternoon) somebody shut him up!

- I have a headache.

- Damn. Have to lie again in the appraisal form.

- The workshop was 'ok'.

that too...

...


Me: whats on TV..
I : nothing much..
Me: whats up..
I : my daughter left today for my parents home..
Me: ok. so what..
I : I mean...
Me: You miss her?
I : I did not say that!
Me: haha! You miss her don't you!
I : Nooo! I never said that!
Me: Did you talk to her?!
I : she is only 10 months old! how on earth can I talk to her!
Me: oh come on! every parent does talk! whatever gibberish that may be!
I : well.. I...
Me: well I what? Did you or did you not?!
I : yes I did..
Me: See! I said so...
I : So what?
Me: How did you feel?!
I : Well.. I .. I felt ok
Me: lier! bakwas!
I : Moron! what lie!
Me: How did you really feel?! heart beat normal? cried?! voice trembled?!
I : well.. I.. had some problem with my throat...
Me: ah ha! your voice did tremble!
I : It was something wrong with the throat!
Me: admit it your voice trembled!
I : Alright! Alright! what the hell! yes it did...
Me: and you cried?!
I : No!
Me: come on admit it! do not be a sissy!
I : sissy?! would I be a sissy if I cried or not telling about it?!
Me: you'd be a sissy anyways so spit it!
I : what the hell?!
Me: so?
I : well my eyes.. kinda.. welled up..
Me: So you cried?!
I : I do not like crying! yes they did well up..
Me: uh huh!
I : what uh huh?!
Me: I remember you used to say why does my father act like that whenever I leave somewhere!
I : yeah .. he somehow.. could not bid farewell to me that easily...
Me: So now you know why your father's eyes looked funny whenever you went somewhere!
I : Yeah I know now..
Me: aulad aulad hoti hay my son!
I : yup ...
Me: give me the tv remote you idiot..


....

I See Thy Soul …

she calls out to the man on the street
Sir ! can you help me?
its cold and I do not know where to sleep
is there somewhere you can tell me?
he walks on, doesn’t look back
he pretends he can’t hear her..
starts to whistle as he crosses the street..
seems embarrassed in being there !..
Oh ! think twice..
Its just another day for you me in paradise !

-genesis

I switched off my car’s stereo player and parked the car in the parking lot. Its one of those winter days when you just feel that nothing is going to stop the cold from hugging your body if not the soul. Without having an iota of respect for the protection you have on yourself, she just creeps in as if the beloved had always had his hearts door open for her.

I had to get out of the car now. The car’s heater had also been switched off and now I felt a bit afraid to face the hostilities of the environment out there. “oh how warm is my car …” I mulled and opened the door. I checked myself again for I did not want to be the lonely sole out there that needed love from cold.

My brain clock told me it was part of the early morning … well it seemed a bit different, as there were indications contradicting it. Certainly, the constant rains and clouds cover were having an effect on me. There were people going here and there, although not that much in number. There were no birds, neither going east nor singing praise hymns for God … at least this is what I have heard. or is it some other way it happens?

The rain had stopped half an hour earlier. The clouds above my head were congregating again as if they never wanted to be separated. Congregating to tell their part of the grief ridden stories and then letting them flow in tears, maybe they want us to feel the same when everything gets soaked in them.

Well, I suppose I was right because I was welcomed by the bone-chilling breeze that kissed my forehead. I placed my head firmer in my body. Perhaps I wanted to have the assurance that it was there and not fallen somewhere due to numbness. I walked briskly, eyes on the ground, to my destination … my friend’s store. As I walked, I watched my reflection in the standing water that got lost due to ripples created by my feet. Maybe I was concentrating more because I did not want to look into the eyes of cold. I had my eyes grounded as if she will not see me … or was she really that interested?

Wait … where did my reflection go? The ripples have already been created … strange … wait … what is that ? small feet ? … whose feet are they? A pair of small feet had my reflection rippled ?

She was a kid, a child. “she is 9, no no she’s 7, perhaps 8…” She is barefoot. SHE IS BAREFOOT ?? why on earth is she barefoot? In this cold ?. I tried to look deep in her feet for the blood. Although I could not get a clear look due to the layers formed as the feet had not been washed but I bet there was no blood. How could the blood survive in such cold feet?

I raised my head more, as if I were the privileged one to have my head held above the rest, or in this case above hers. She was wearing a thin clothed dress. Dress? Rags would have defined it better. Her uncombed and dirty hair gave a reflection of trees that are left alone in autumn when their protection, the leaves, are taken away. Her hair seemed wet. Maybe an effort had been made to nourish the trees for leaf bearing or did she remain under the protection of the clouds above? Perhaps the wetness of her hair was due to the tears of the clouds when they were cajoling her…

Oh look at her, isn’t she pretty? the cuteness of a child is all over her face like an angel. But it somehow gets hidden by those dirty lines that run across her face making unread statements. Its like the sun who is covered by the clouds above. Perhaps the sun is there somewhere with all its brightness ready to lit up the whole world, but I cannot see that.

Her eyes said something to me … what was it? … Sorry, I could not hear … I looked deep down her eyes to ask again. Ah ! I cannot hear it, its so low … like a whisper. I searched her eyes. I felt as if I was being devoured as a whole. Why is that? were they in search of something? perhaps they were unnourished. I tried to hold on to myself but I was not being successful. I tried to get hold of something else but it was so dark in there … where did the lights go? … wait … What’s this? A broken dream perhaps. What is it doing in here? … I feel like I am drowning, drowning in the flood of darkness. HELP ! HELP ! no one is listening. How can one listen? My voice seems to echo back to myself, its like I am enclosed somewhere and there is not let out. Has my voice taken the shape of hers? whispers ? …. so silent .. Someone is coming … what is that? why is there so cold? Where is my breath?? I cannot breath … someone is choking me to death …

A Flash …

I was back to myself. “please give me some money. Please. I have not had something to eat since yesterday. Please help me for God sakes…”. What? What did she say? she was asking me something … her small, numb from cold hands were shaking mines as if trying to tell everything that there is .. but am I prepared to listen? Or am I deaf? Do I have the courage? Why cannot I listen? Am I not a human being? Have I not been blessed with everything by God? Is she a human being? Perhaps not … she has not been provided with everything….

“please give me some money so that I can eat something …” is she really asking me that? perhaps she is … perhaps she thinks that I am sent by God to help her? How could she think like this? Does she know it? Is God that close to her?

I searched my pockets .. no not here, wait wait, yes ! … there is something ..a Rs.2 coin? Look at myself …I was the one that had his head held high ….. A Rs.2 coin, what worth is it?

I gave that to her …. Suddenly, there is a whole range of activities on her face. Her eyes have lit up as shining stars. Like the sun given way by the dark clouds. She at once grabbed that coin and ran away !

I was still there … hey ! my reflection is back …. I think I should go where I have to go, my friends shop. She must be happy right? Or does anyone care?? The clouds are about to shed their tears ….

-1999-

Quacks On Air - Religious Ones

Have you ever seen a program on Haq TV, called Fiqh un Nissa hosted by a young lady all wrapped up in black and only her eyes revealing? I like her you know :p .. notwithstanding the solutions she provides to the female callers regarding sharia. The solutions usually.. are not easily digestible by soul like me. But she.. builds in me a sense of.. curiosity! :p (Note: I have no intention whatsoever to disrespect her because of her opinions!)

The other day, she was discussing something related to 'Mehrem' and 'na mehrem' (acquaintance and non-acquaintances). The usual practice is that when you leave for Hajj or Umra, you are not allowed to go alone if you are a woman. You must have someone alongside you either husband or someone as 'mehrem' in form of brother, father, son(?) and whatever that comes under the category of 'mehrem'. I honestly do not have a clue because I think this 'mehrem' thingy is just a restriction on women. Here is the definition that I got..

The term “Mehrem” means a male relative who is religiously banned from marrying that subject woman under any circumstances. In Islam, a Mehrem is a female’s father, brother, son, maternal or paternal uncle, grandfather or nephew. A blood relation or a suckling relation makes the subject man a “Mehrem” i.e. a son( brother, father, uncle) by birth or a suckling son(brother, father, uncle).

So she was telling a caller that she (caller) cannot go alone for Hajj because its not allowed and she'll be committing a disobedience to Prophet Muhammad as he prohibited so. (lovely) So the solution she provided went like this. She can marry a person! Now that her husband will be alongside her so she can go on Hajj! After she is done performing Hajj, she can take divorce from him! (whoa!) If she thinks he will not let her go so easy, she can write for a right of divorce in marriage contract! (please tell me that I heard it wrong)

Man O man! Why do I like her so much?!

Being a person associated with religion somehow gives you a clean chit to do anything and say anything you like especially when it comes to Islam and that too if you are in Pakistan. I remember when Womens Protection Bill was at the height of its implementation, Qazi Hussein Ahmad's daughter (Rahila Qazi?) was in a discussion panel being hosted by Talat Hussain of Aaj Tv. When he asked her where is raped mentioned in Quran, she said it is mentioned in Quran and quoted 24:33

24:33 - And let those who do not find the means to marry keep chaste until Allah makes them free from want out of His grace. And (as for) those who ask for a writing from among those whom your right hands possess, give them the writing if you know any good in them, and give them of the wealth of Allah which He has given you; and do not compel your slave girls to prostitution, when they desire to keep chaste, in order to seek the frail good of this world's life; and whoever compels them, then surely after their compulsion Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.

and I was like.. what the hell. Where does it mention rape?! Nobody told her that she was wrong! and people must have believed her because she was in burqa and was daughter of a religious scholar/ politician! they would not believe me!

P.S: To find the exact meaning of 'mehrem', I searched Google and the search came up with this.

1. *MEHREM: Someone who has to accompany you and your lover when going out, usually the girl's brother or friend, just to make sure there's no funny business. (Foreigners Guide to Egypt)

2. Allah told us muslima's in his book, not to dance in front of not mehrem men. Not to sing for not mehrem men. To cover your body and hair for the not mehrem. (Ruby on Oghnia.com)

3. C) Call the non-mehrem "brother" so this prevents the shytan from coming in between. .... Ask Allah for forgiveness, and stop chatting with any non-mehrem. (Sister Area - Chatting: Footsteps of the Shytan)

Al Aqsa Mosque - The First Qibla?

Was Al Aqsa Mosque the first Qibla of muslims?
Tell you what.. I do not think so! I get a different response from Quran.

First, to describe the historical significance of this mosque, I quote from wikipedia.

"The historical significance of Al-Aqsa Mosque is further emphasized by the fact that Muslims used to turn towards Al-Haram al-Sharif when they prayed. As it was the place at which Muhammad performed the first commanded prayer after Isra and Mi'raj, it became the Qibla (direction) that Muslims faced during prayer and continued to be so for sixteen or seventeen months"

Qibla is the direction in which muslims pray, it is currently The Sacred Mosque in Mecca. When Prophet Muhammad went on his Ascension to Heaven trip (mairaj), his first stop was Al Aqsa Mosque where he led the congregational prayer of Prophets (albeit the fact that there was no mosque in Jerusalem at that time!) Thus Al Aqsa mosque became the first Qibla for muslims to pray and later they were directed to pray towards the current Qibla. You must have heard the story related to it as well. While in prayers, the verses to change the Qibla were revealed and Prophet and the people observing the prayers turned towards the new Qibla. Basically stating to change the direction from Al Aqsa mosque to Masjid ul Haram, The Sacred Mosque.

When we start reading the Quran, the events turn out like this. The Qibla did change from one direction to the other.

2:142 - The fools among the people will say: "What hath turned them from the Qibla to which they were used?" Say: To Allah belong both east and West: He guideth whom He will to a Way that is straight.

It appears it was a test for the believers.

2:143 - ... and We appointed the Qibla to which thou wast used, only to test those who followed the Messenger from those who would turn on their heels (From the Faith). Indeed it was (A change) momentous, except to those guided by Allah. And never would Allah Make your faith of no effect. For Allah is to all people Most surely full of kindness, Most Merciful.

Now the Prophet is being told that he and the believers are to face towads the qibla that they like i.e. The Sacred Mosque.

2:144 - Indeed We see the turning of your face to heaven, so We shall surely turn you to a qiblah which you shall like; turn then your face towards the Sacred Mosque, and wherever you are, turn your face towards it, and those who have been given the Book most surely know that it is the truth from their Lord; and Allah is not at all heedless of what they do.

Did you see it? The last direction is towards the Sacred Mosque. 'Before' that it must be Al Aqsa Mosque. So in the test, the muslims were given a new Qibla (Al Aqsa Mosque). Basically it goes like 1) praying towards Sacred Mosque then 2) Test: Now face Al Aqsa Mosque and then 3) Face again towards Sacred Mosque. The Sacred Mosque was then rendered as the final direction towards which muslims all over the globe face and pray.

This proves that Al Aqsa mosque was not the first Qibla of muslims rather Sacred Mosque was. Sacred Mosque was used as the first Qibla. It was this place where Prophet Abraham was given the religious rites and was called the 'first muslim'.

2:125 - And when We made the House (at Makka) a resort for mankind and sanctuary, (saying): Take as your place of worship the place where Abraham stood (to pray). And We imposed a duty upon Abraham and Ishmael, (saying): Purify My house for those who go around and those who meditate therein and those who bow down and prostrate themselves (in worship).

2:128 - "Our Lord! make of us Muslims, bowing to Thy (Will), and of our progeny a people Muslim, bowing to Thy (will); and show us our place for the celebration of (due) rites; and turn unto us (in Mercy); for Thou art the Oft-Returning, Most Merciful.

I know nothing much of a discussion but I thought to share what 'we think it was' and 'what it really was'. Correct your history. Or correct mine if you want to.

Referral...

I have been quoted. And I dint like it!

This month I had assumed the role of Gandhi of sorts and I was preaching No Hate! No Hate! (although Gandhi preached non-violence) and in comes a referring site where I am quoted (correctly) but in a way that furthers the authors point. Here is the link under the section "Islam Respects Non-Muslims" and I quote

I will start with a bit of current news from a Muslim blog called Think Islam. To this blogger's credit, he speaks out about the destruction (again) of Buddhist statues by Muslims. Read the post here . Here are a few quotes from his piece:

I say it again. We are sick. Really. Unfortunate thing is that these people are our own people. They are part of the society. This mentality really exists. Medresshas (not all) do preach hatred. I am supposedly a 'sunni' because I was born in such family. I used to study Quran in mosque just like an average pakistani child. Trust me. I used to hear some really nasty things about shias! and non-muslims... we were supposed to stay away from them too! but perhaps not as bad as shias! Good lord they were devils

The site contains content against Islamic concepts and is divided in various sections just like in which I am quoted. It contains the usual muslim-bashing and is another carrier of hate-waves.

Regarding the piece that I wrote, I wrote it when militants in Swat attempted to blow up a statue of Buddha. If you remember, when Taliban blew up the Bamiyan Buddha there had been a huge up roar in Pakistan and muslim world in general that what Taliban did was wrong, totally against Islamic and humane spirit and the result of their myopic understanding of Islam. The sentiments expressed in my blog post regarding statue of Buddha in Swat resembled almost the same.

What the author of the site did (check the author-highlighted portion) was that he used my words to further his point that 'Islam tells you to hate other people'... What he did not mention is the I being a muslim am denouncing this act wholeheartedly. A muslim is talking about act of a fellow muslim which I as an author felt were totally against the spirit of my religion Islam.

The author of this site also did not mention at all the condemnation that poured from around the Islamic world when such acts happen and instead focuses on his point that Islam teaches hatred. When is this hate going to stop?

Check My Other Posts:

1. Statue of Buddha in Swat.
2. Lord of the Medieval

The Australian Grand Prix

Man! Formula 1 is getting addictive! What a start to the new season! Australian Grand Prix was a drama! Last year it ended on a nail biting 1 point difference with Kimi Raikonnen of Ferrari taking the title from McLaren's Lewis Hamilton and this year... things indicate I wont have my fingers remaining till the finale!

Kimi Raikonnen was like.. nuts! He went twice off track! and still managed to stay on course! How often does this happen in Formula 1?! Ask Toyota's Timo Glock. He only once veered off track and the car was put to smithereens. Kimi, once making his Ferrari eat tons of gravel, still managed to stay on track. After having all this luck on his side he still could not finish the race as the engine gave up when only 5 laps were remaining!

And what was wrong with Rubens Barrichello of Honda?! First he overshot the 'Stop' sign and drove a mechanic and fuel hose along with him! then exited the pit lane when the lights were red! rendering him out of the championship points.

The race started off with disaster! First corner saw 5 cars being sent out of race as they collided amidst a mish-mash of carbon fibre and rubber! I will be watching the next race with a helmet on it seems!

Lord!

Muslim or Kafir?

When I wrote 'I Hate You' post, the main idea behind it was the visible and disseminated hatred that various sects of Islam have for each other. It also related to the inter-religious acrimony in general. People of a certain faith always believe that they are the 'correct ones' and they will be ones holding the victory flag on the day of judgment. As the Quran states...

2:111 - And they say: "None shall enter Paradise unless he be a Jew or a Christian." Those are their (vain) desires. Say: "Produce your proof if ye are truthful."

Our multiple-sect-muslim-brethren repeat the same mantra. Why cant they learn from Quran? Do they have the evidence that only they will enter paradise and no one else?

2:112 - Nay,-whoever submits His whole self to Allah and is a doer of good,- He will get his reward with his Lord; on such shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve.

Sunnis and Shias (and their sub-sects) all out do each other in claiming that they are the best! for what? We keep branding other sects as 'kafir',that they are not 'muslims'. Do we know what a muslim is? Why would only '1 sect out of 72 sects' will enter paradise?

Quran is very clear when it comes to judgment criteria.

2:62 - Surely those who believe, and those who are Jews, and the Christians, and the Sabians, whoever believes in Allah and the Last day and does good, they shall have their reward from their Lord, and there is no fear for them, nor shall they grieve.

Where did it state that a person has to have a certain tag of sunni, shia, ahmadi, deobandi, jew, christian on his/ her head to be rewarded exclusively on judgment day? Of course this is not the case. The whole debate is not about who believes in which Prophet.. its about whether you believe in God as the Only God.

31:13 - Behold, Luqman said to his son by way of instruction: "O my son! join not in worship (others) with Allah: for false worship is indeed the highest wrong-doing."

So if you keep trying your level best to declare everyone non-muslim (ahmadi/ qadiyani as the case in point) ... I am sorry but this does not matter at all. Prophet Muhammad was the last Prophet. He was not the 'first muslim'. He did not found Islam. Prophet Abraham is considered to be the first Muslim...

22:78 - And strive in His cause as ye ought to strive, (with sincerity and under discipline). He has chosen you, and has imposed no difficulties on you in religion; it is the cult of your father Abraham. It is He Who has named you Muslims

And we are advised to follow religion of Prophet Abraham.

2:130 - And who forsakes the religion of Ibrahim but he who makes himself a fool, and most certainly We chose him in this world, and in the hereafter he is most surely among the righteous.

So we should all strive to be better muslims, do good deeds. Direct our energies to make muslims a better member of societies instead of focusing who is a an infidel.

Peace.

Check Out My Other Posts:

1. 'I Hate You'
2. 5 Pillars of Islam Given to Prophet Abraham

Halal Food

Recently a friend of mine went on a foreign tour. Before going there, we had discussions regarding food - what to eat and what not to eat. One thing is for sure.. muslims are damn serious when 'halal' food is concerned and they, either residing in non-muslim countries or on a visit to such countries, remain extra careful. Whether the animal was properly slaughtered (zabeeha), whether God's name was pronounced before slaughtering the animal, that it should not be pork. Things like that. Not that I mind it :p

The trouble starts when say you are in a restaurant and order food, no one knows whether its 'halal' or not. When you buy meat and it does not have a 'halal' sticker on it! When you are invited over to a non-muslim friend's place and your mind starts playing games on you regarding food! Do you tell you friend that you wont eat this food?! Do you ask him whether he pronounced God's name on it?!

Lets see what God states..

6:118 - You shall eat from that upon which GOD's name has been pronounced, if you truly believe in His revelations.

There are two main topics of discussion. 1) Whether Quran suggests that God's name should be taken when slaughtering the animal OR 2) Quran suggests that God's name should be taken before you eat! Normally muslims take the former situation as an obligation and the latter as the preferred thing to do. Mores of sorts.

When it comes to the question 'how the animal was slaughtered' then there is no information regarding that in Quran. Muslims slaughter the animals in a particular way. To quote 'The ‘slaughtering’ is to be done by cutting the throat, windpipe and the blood vessels in the neck causing the animal’s death, but without cutting the spinal cord.' Since there is no information from God regarding how the animal should be slaughtered so the choice is yours. If you think that medically its fit to eat the animal as slaughtered in the above manner, good for you. It wont become 'haram' if you ate an animal slaughtered in another way.

Now the big question is what does Quran suggest regarding taking of God's name on food.

6:121 - Do not eat from that upon which the name of GOD has not been mentioned, for it is an abomination. The devils inspire their allies to argue with you; if you obey them, you will be idol worshipers.

This is a clear injunction regarding food. Do not eat from anything on which God's name has not been mentioned. So the butcher most probably would have taken God's name and then slaughtered the animal. Very nice so far. The problem arises when you are not in an Islamic country or when you do not know whether the source of this food has taken God's name. This becomes extremely cumbersome for muslims because every effort is being spent to know the source of the food. I do not think that is so feasible. Why would God make it so difficult for muslims when they have to visit a non-muslim country or when they reside there?

There is an other view. An opinion says that since the verse uses the word 'eat' so this implies that you do not have to worry how the animal was slaughtered or whether God's name was taken on it, you just pronounce God's name before 'eating'! Sounds logical enough. But the counter argument given, and I quote "What it would mean then is that if we eat edibles without pronouncing bismillah before doing so, we will be committing clear transgression. In other words, even while eating rice, sweets, or anything, if the ritual is not adopted we will be sinners". Now God would not make life so miserable for muslims like this too! And honestly I keep forgetting saying Bismillah (In the Name of God) before eating my food!

So what is it actually? Lets probe further.

6:119 - Why should you not eat from that upon which GOD's name has been mentioned? He has detailed for you what is prohibited for you, unless you are forced. Indeed, many people mislead others with their personal opinions, without knowledge. Your Lord is fully aware of the transgressors.

So what is prohibited?

16:115 - He has only forbidden you dead meat, and blood, and the flesh of swine, and any (food) over which the name of other than Allah has been invoked. But if one is forced by necessity, without willful disobedience, nor transgressing due limits,- then Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

Verse 2:173 states the same. "I" think the answer to this lies in this verse. It states "Any food over which the name of others than Allah has been invoked". Any offering made to an entity other than God is prohibited. Its not about normal meal that you eat but rather the specific meal made as offering to gods or meal that has some religious significance to it.

Consider the following verses...

6:136 - Out of what Allah hath produced in abundance in tilth and in cattle, they assigned Him a share: they say, according to their fancies: "This is for Allah, and this" - for our "partners"! but the share of their" partners "reacheth not Allah, whilst the share of Allah reacheth their "partners" ! evil (and unjust) is their assignment!

6:138 - They said, "These are livestock and crops that are prohibited; no one shall eat them except whomever we permit," so they claimed. They also prohibited the riding of certain livestock. Even the livestock they ate, they never pronounced GOD's name as they sacrificed them. Such are innovations attributed to Him. He will surely requite them for their innovations.

6:139 - They say: "What is in the wombs of such and such cattle is specially reserved for our men, and forbidden to our women; but if it is still-born, then all have share therein. For their (false) attribution, He will soon punish them: for He is full of wisdom and knowledge.

Get the drift? So the prohibition is, in 'my' opinion, only for that food which is offering for gods and not Allah. Next time you are in a non-muslim country, do not fret over food and enjoy eating it. When a non-muslim friend of yours brings you food prepared in his home, eat it! This in no way is a suggestion that Gods name before slaughtering 'should not' be taken or not taken before eating! These are very good acts and should be done!

6:145 - Say: "I find not in the message received by me by inspiration any (meat) forbidden to be eaten by one who wishes to eat it, unless it be dead meat, or blood poured forth, or the flesh of swine,- for it is an abomination - or, what is impious, (meat) on which a name has been invoked, other than Allah's". But (even so), if a person is forced by necessity, without willful disobedience, nor transgressing due limits,- thy Lord is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.

God even still, makes things easy for us. You can eat it when forced by necessity, without willful disobedience and not transgressing limits!

Comments are more than welcome. I believe its a learning initiative.

Related Post

- Halal Pencil

'I Hate You'

We really hate each other.. when it comes to religion that is. I do not know what is it but when religion is involved, somehow the hatred level just shoots up. Ethnicity and religious factors, I guess, have killed more people than any other thing. In this post, I am more interested in religious hatred. This hatred could be intra-religious or inter-religious. Christians, Muslims, Jews, Hindus.. it seems no body trusts each other. When it comes to Islam, Shia sunni are at each others throat. Talking of local scenario, it would be Deobandis against Barelvis. But Qadianis and Ahmadis are way on top of the list! Oh we muslims hate them the most I guess?!

What the hell.

Ok lets start with myself. I have a tag of 'sunni' on my forehead. I would like to call myself 'muslim' but.. forget it. When I was in school, the shias were the enemy number one I was told. Not my family but my friends - mosque ones in specific. I was told that I should not eat anything from a shia because they spit in it and then give it to sunnis to eat! No kidding!

Our school text books painted Hindus and Hinduism in a really bad taste. I still remember my history teacher saying "Hindus have a closed mentality which is obvious from their prayer areas whereas muslims are broadminded as you can see from mosques". How lovely. I also had a christian friend in school. He was my best friend. He lived near the school so on more than one occasion I went to his place and ate. Although the prohibition of eating applied on them as well but hey... I was hungry! When I was in class 8th, I told him to convert to Islam! He told me to convert to christianity! and I was like.. 'what the hell..what does one say next?!'. Never asked him again!

When inter-religious conflicts are taken in to consideration, then one can understand that 'fear' of being over powered by another religion does take effect. Crusades can be taken as an example. In todays world, Muslims fear that West in general and America in particular are after everything Islam and muslims. Further, when it comes to ethnic warring, one party is claiming sufferings at the hand of another because either the rights are being subjugated or the land perhaps is being taken. Perhaps the majority ethnic group is in control of financial matters and is not giving due right to other ethnic group. I mean, there is a reason to be feeling opposed. But in this case where various sects of Islam are concerned.. there is nothing! We just hate one another for our respective faiths! Don't we?! Or 'fear' working here as well?

In Pakistan things are really complex. There are so many sects and each does not have a liking for one another. In Northern Pakistan, Chilas and Gilgit are notorious for sectarian clashes. People used to burn down villages of opposing sects. In Parachinar, 100s of people have lost their lives. Shias and sunnis killing each other.. militant political wings of Sunis and Shias outdoing one another. for what?

One thing I fail to understand is that why we hate Ahmadis and Qadiyanis so much! So what if they believe in another person as prophet and do not consider Prophet Muhammad to be the last of all the prophets?! I still have my jewels complete in numbers and with me after hearing this! I mean if they are wrong, God will take care of them on Judgment Day! He will whip them or whatever after the results are in! No? What on earth is being taken from us for their beliefs?! I mean Christians believe in trinity. We muslims don't make fuss of that too much but when it comes to Ahmadis or Qadiyanis.. all hell breaks loose! Why? Dr. Abdul Salam, the only Nobel laureate from Pakistan in Physics, is not given his due share only because he was a Qadiyani.

Its not just within muslim world that hatred exists. I have been part of anti-islamic discussion boards and the hate was unbelievable. You could not hear a sane voice. Whether its publishing of cartoons or anti-islamic video by that dutch politician.. hatred seems to be at work.

Unfortunate.

Is Music Prohibited in Islam?

Is music haram?
Simply put .. No.

I have had discussions on forums regarding music in Islam and I thought to share some of them here. Music is considered to be 'evil'. It somehow induces devil-feelings in the listener. To quote the text from here.

"It is a the trap of shaitan by which he lures people to immoral acts. Indeed the essence of music, its causes, goals and effects all revolve around the songs of corrupt and immoral people, for music contains commendation of what Allah detests and boasts about what he dislikes. Music is a satanic voice that deeply penetrates the human heart and stimulates in it destructive desires, wreaks havoc on mans body and soul and fills his ears with obscenities."

My assertion is very clear. God clearly states what are the handiworks of Satan and advises humans to stay away from them.

5:90 - O ye who believe! Intoxicants and gambling, (dedication of) stones, and (divination by) arrows, are an abomination,- of Satan’s handwork: eschew such (abomination), that ye may prosper.

Tell me.. if music is so bad.. why did God forget it in this verse?

The argument raised was this

“why is rape not mentioned in the Quran? does that mean its okay.”

No body can justify rape because its not mentioned in Quran. The example can be given of Cyber porn. It is not mentioned in Quran nor Hadith so does that mean one would let his/ her children do it? Of course not.

Another argument raised was this.

“Quran is a brief guide. More like a summary. Explanations come from hadith.”

Quran counters this brilliantly where God states that His book is not a brief guide.

6:114 - Say: “Shall I seek for judge other than Allah? - when He it is Who hath sent unto you the Book, explained in detail".

Also in the discussion the following verses were quoted to justify the prohibition of music. I'll quote them and let the reader decide whether they relate to music or not. You know my stance on these verses already.

31:06 - And there are among men, those that purchase idle tales, to mislead from the path of Allah and throw ridicule. For such there will be a humiliating punishment.

17:64 - Lead to destruction those whom you can among them with your (seductive) voice.

25:72 - Those who witness no falsehood, and if they pass by futility, they pass by it with honourable avoidance.

The thing is that nobody is allowed to prohibit or 'haram' and 'halal' things for humans. Its God's religion. It is He who decides what is better for us. No body is allowed to 'portray' that music is 'haram' in religion when its not the case. If you do not want to listen to music, more the better for you but do not impose this upon people as if religion prohibited it.

6:150 - Say: "Bring forward your witnesses to prove that Allah did forbid so and so." If they bring such witnesses, be not thou amongst them: Nor follow thou the vain desires of such as treat our signs as falsehoods, and such as believe not in the Hereafter: for they hold others as equal with their Guardian-Lord.

Related Post:
- Dance, Music and 'kanjar'

Clip Mania

You are sitting on your seat doing your work when a 'friend' of yours pops up and places his mobile phone in front of you. You have this feeling where this would lead to. 'Play it' he says referring to a clip.. and when you play it.. you get to see an amateur video showing a couple in a garden or somewhere going smoochy smooch!

What the hell!

What is with people! What kind of satisfaction do they get by sharing such kind of clips in which people are 'caught' doing something! ridiculous! (by the way I am all for consensual ones :p)

Now there are different types of people that would show you the clip. First is the type that I narrated above. He is your (supposedly) friend, either office or home, who you know has a collection of these clips! "haha! see what these morons are doing!" he'll tell you! You look at him and say ..'uh huh'.. amusing.

Then there are the types that speak as if they want to avenge something. "Look at what is happening in Islamic republic! this is what you call Islamic?! Musharraf did all this! Enlightened Moderation my ass!" They say this after narrating everything about the clip of where the location is and what 'they'll do now in scene!'

Then there are the sort of people that start off with dangers of enlightened moderation and go all the way to implementation of shariah! Mashallah! You start imagining the piety when they will narrate to you what sort of clips they saw on mobile phones with a certain friend of theirs! And then they'll promise to send you a clip in email! Lovely!

There is a class of clips, audio files to be specific, that are border-line sadistic! A guy would randomly call a number. Talk really weird stuff to the listener online, then gets abused by the listener and records everything! Then the sharing starts! 'Have you heard that clip?! haha! that is really funny!' a certain someone will tell you.

Then there are those nuts that dial call centers and would talk to the lady operator. They would talk to her with all the innuendos and double entendres!

I remember sometime back, a huge scandal had rocked Rawalpindi when secretly filmed video clips of an internet cafe were released (CD Version man! effective distribution!) in which couples came for internet surfing and ended up surfing things other than that. One can complain about their acts but what about those who were actively participating in 'distribution' of it?! 'Man you should see what they were doing! how come people do that in cafes! .. that guy was really weird!'

Man we are sick! 'Haha!' as long as its happening to other?!

Pakistan Votes

Pakistani's have voted. And they have voted for change. Really?

You know what.. I really feel for PML-Q! I know they were going to be dumped no surprises there but they were just a political lot with a tag of PML-Q on their forehead! Majority of the politicians are the same! People are treating them with contempt as if they are the ones who are the cause of every ill Pakistan is afflicted with. I mean you do not have to go 100 years back in time to know that Nawaz Sharif, the champion of judicial supremacy, himself was responsible for attack on Supreme Court. Benazir Bhutto came to Pakistan by a deal with Musharraf. She had cases against her removed through National Reconciliation Ordinance! Zaradari, the current co-chairman, is the biggest thug of all.

Anyways.. coming to the results of the election, PML-Q's stars lost the game. Chaudhry Shujat, Sheikh Rashid, Ijaz ul Haq etc. I was also not surprised by the success of Awami National Part (ANP). The pukhtoon nationalist had to make a comeback since the mullahs of Mutahidda Majlis e Amal (MMA - the alliance of religious parties) did a terrible job. Mind you I voted for MMA in the last election. I had done that because I wanted to try other faces. I had even voted for Musharraf in referendum! so much for my selection :p But I totally believe that leadership is what matters even if you don't have effective political parties or the kind of democracy Pakistan has. Musharraf though has totally lost it. He wont survive much.

I could not vote this time because I was some 1800 km away from my polling station! I would have voted for ANP too perhaps. A party that takes a principled stand on various issues and are not nuts when it comes to religion. In fact, they tend to be more on the left on this count as they opposed the Afghan jihad and now the militant version of talibanization.

MMA got routed as well. Partly because of boycott, Maulana Fazlur Rehman's pro-Musharraf antics and their own performance. Or perhaps I am too biased against religious parties because I feel they exploit religion for their political gains? For the first time I guess Qazi Hussein Ahmad sensed it right where the opinion will lie and boycotted early.

The biggest surprise was from Nawaz Sharif's PML-N. The number of seats that his party bagged in National and Provincial assembly was really surprising. Good that he was not contesting because I do not want to see him as PM. Nor did I want to see Benazir as prime minister! Though her death was tragic which was exploited to the maximum by PPP, she herself was just another opportunist feudal!

There is one thing that I like. This time around there will be a new face for prime minister. I think the two-time Prime Minister term limit is very good because somewhere in me, I assume, that this would inculcate democracy within parties themselves too! Silly me! But I am not pessimistic. PML-Q got the treatment it deserved. Pakistani voters told them not to side with dictators. This is a very strong message. Its a strong reminder for anyone who is coming next. The message is loud and clear. Do not mess with Pakistani voters!

I hope what I state is true!

SMS - The Opinion Maker

I just received a joke on SMS and it is again about PML-Q, the erstwhile goons of Musharraf. Tell me, if you have received political jokes recently, how many relate to PML-Q? I can safely say 90% or more of the times its about the same party. The 'ridicule' factor is most prominent in these jokes.

Its this type of politics-based joke that interests me. (Yes I do receive other jokes as well that interest me even more :p) You read the joke, you laugh and you forward it to someone else. Was it just simple as that? What you did as simple an act of laughing and forwarding was that you formed an opinion about PML-Q as well! What is the image of PML-Q in your mind now? Idiots most probably! And that is most important. I am not saying that its only the SMS that formed your opinion like that but it certainly is a build up on the earlier information.

SMS and cellphones are ubiquitous these days. Its such an important element in the modern day of communication but we do not give it due importance rather take it for granted. Yes we are aware of the 'nuisance' factor of it but do we really appreciate the timeliness of information received? Remember Benazir Bhutto's assassination? You read it on blog first or got the SMS first? Do we know how can it be utilized to further your cause?

Talking about political jokes, Propaganda has now taken on new form. I do not know whether it was by chance or some deliberate attempt but this is certainly working. The majority of the users of cell phone are young aged-middle aged Pakistanis. They can sms - not just receive and send calls. They are the ones that are more aware of the changing scenarios of the country and perhaps would want to do something about it. They are the decision makers and they are the recipients of these messages.

The usual medium of information like Newspapers, Radio and TV still play an important role in forming an opinion. The information they provide is portrayed as balanced and accurate. You cant really blame them because they are working in boundaries of ethics and fair-play (at least they say so). But when it comes to SMS, the language is more straight forward than the draped-thing that you get from other media. A joke is short, precise and to the point! Conveys what the meaning is and helps do it in less cost! Forget about expensive advertisement campaigns against opponents which sound sleazy anyway! SMS will spread much faster, will cover great distances, will have impact and you will not have to bear the expenses too! What an effective propaganda tool!

Blogs come close to quick opinion-forming information dissipation. Bloggers are usually more aware of the events that are going on whether political or apolitical. SMSs even outshine them in the sense that you do not spend that much time on computers. If you do, you would go to your favorite places on the internet including blogs and newspaper sites. You will not visit every site to get information. On the other hand, with SMS, the destination of the information is the 'recipient'. You get a message and you 'read' it! You will even forward it to your friends. A network of opinion was generated.

Perhaps you can clearly see the results of the next elections if SMS popular sentiment is to be believed. PML-Q will find it very difficult because the most powerful element of 'information' is not on their side! Pakistani politics is peculiar in the sense that dynasties, feudals, 'biradri' play more important role than the voter conscience. Would it be any different this time?

Cleopatra - The Last Pharoh

In line with my recent posts on Egyptology in which I had posted about Akhenaten, Tutankhamun, Nefertiti and Hatshepsu - this time I am writing about another very famed pharoh of Egypt called Cleopatra.


Courtesy Wikipedia

Cleopatra was actually Cleopatra VII. Her mother was Cleopatra V and her father was Ptolemy XII. She was born in 69 BC. She is considered to be the last of the Pharohs because after that Egypt was ruled by the Romans when Octavius annexed it with Rome. Octavius defeated Cleopatra and Mark Antony at Actium. By the way, Octavius was the grand nephew of Julius Caesar whom Cleopatra married before Mark Antony.

Cleopatra was a ruler of Hellenistic era. This era started when Alexander The Great went on his campaign spree to rule from Mediterranean to India in around 335 BC. This era is marked by spreading of Greek culture and civilization in all of the conquered areas. Cleopatra and her predecessors spoke Greek. Cleopatra was the one that restored Ancient Egypt's old deities and
language that had almost vanished during the past 300 years before her. The previous rulers preferred the Greek civilization over the ancient Egyptian one. Cleopatra actually learned to write in Egyptian Hieroglyphs! (I like her!)

After death of her father Ptolemy XII, she married her brother Ptolemy XIII and both reigned jointly. She being too individualistic, tried to reign alone (issued a coin depicting only her as regnant). Palace intrigues then led her to exile along with her sister.

When her brother got in conflict with Julius Caesar, she came in the picture again. He wanted to annex Egypt. She became Julius's mistress and thus Julius made her the Queen of Egypt. Her brother was drowned in the Nile. She bore a son from Julius which she wanted Julius to name as heir which Julius refused because he had chosen Octavian. When Julius was assassinated in 44 BC, she made her son co-regnant and had her sister killed so that no claimants to heir exist!

As the power struggle continued in Rome, Mark Antony, a military commander, administrator of Julius Caesar and another hopeful for Caesar title met Cleopatra. Both of them got involved and formed an alliance against Octavian. She had three children from Mark Antony. The three of them were made rulers of different areas that were under the control of Cleopatra. Being highly ambitious, Cleopatra dreamed of uniting east against Rome and then ruling both Rome and Egypt.

Octavian and Rome were incensed. Octavian sought war permission from the Roman Senate. After that both the forces fought the naval battle at Actium where Mark was defeated. Octavian invaded Egypt and finally Mark's forces were defeated at Alexandria. Mark Antony committed suicide. After sometime Cleopatra too committed suicide. The most famous version is that she died because of Asp bite. Although it is said that she got bit on her arm but Shakespeare immortalized the picture by suggesting that she had held the asp to her breast. (Picture at Wikipedia)

That apart, though Cleopatra's son claimed the throne but Octavian executed him. His famous statement "Two Caesars are one too many".

Update 12-02-2008

I had heard about Cleopatra's beauty but as I was writing this post I could not find any picture that could perhaps relate to her famed beauty. An anonymous comment took me to National Geographic's site which states

But a silver coin that went on display at a British university yesterday suggests Cleopatra's beauty may be Hollywood fiction. On one side the coin shows the Egyptian ruler with a shallow forehead, long nose, narrow lips, and a sharply pointed chin. On the other, her longtime lover, the powerful Roman general and politician Mark Antony, is depicted with a large hooked nose and thick neck.

Link is in comments.

Check My Other Posts on Egyptology

- Nefertiti - The Most Beautiful Woman in World
- The First Monotheist - Akhenaten
- King Tut
- Hatshepsu - Woman Pharoh with A Beard!
- Your Name in Egyptian Hieroglyphs

Polygamy in Islam- The Quranic Perspective

All those who are interested in polygamy, please do not read this because I am going to ruin your plans :p

As a muslim, we all have heard that a man is allowed to have four wives. Want to see the verse of Quran? Here let me quote the most common version of this verse...

4:03 - Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.

But as always, we muslims read only what we want to read. Now read the whole verse.

4:03 - If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.

When you are told something regarding Islam or Quran, do not just blindly accept them. I urge you to pick up Quran and read for yourself this verse. Just as it was like in my previous post of Travel Prayers.

A muslim man is not allowed to have 4 wives as he chooses and pleases! The main purpose of polygamy in Islam according to this verse is the welfare and protection of orphans! to provide a family for them. Not merrymaking!

And even in Quran (4:129) it is being emphasized that monogamy is the best because you can not deal with multiple wives justly.

Peace.

---------------------------
Update 11th Sept, 2008

Recently, I have had the opportunity to discuss this verse and its possible interpretations. There is an opinion that the verse 4:03 discusses 'orphan girls' and not 'widows' as seems to be the case when verse 4:127 is taken into consideration.

When one goes on further in Sura Nisa and reads the verses, it becomes apparent that orphans as vulnerable, weak and requirement of a protective figure is being discussed. This can only happen if widow is married to and not the female orphans. This can be judged from following verse in which the orphans are advised to be married off in case they reach age of puberty. This cannot be possible if Verse 4:03 meant marrying orphan girls.

4:06 - Make trial of orphans until they reach the age of marriage; if then ye find sound judgment in them, release their property to them; but consume it not wastefully, nor in haste against their growing up. If the guardian is well-off, Let him claim no remuneration, but if he is poor, let him have for himself what is just and reasonable. When ye release their property to them, take witnesses in their presence: But all-sufficient is Allah in taking account.

All in all, Quran advises you to be monogamous (4:129) as God tells us that a man can't be that equitable with multiple wives. Muslim society is encouraged to arrange marriage of single people (24:32) and those who cannot afford marriage - they are advised to stay chaste (24:33). A person has to abstain from sex and he is allowed to do so only with his wife OR if he has a slave/ captive - not both (23:05-06).

Polygamy is allowed in Islam but it is restrictive in nature. The ONLY verse dealing with polygamy is in Sura Nisa (4:3) and that is context of orphans - and one thing is for sure that you cannot marry an other woman just because it pleases you or she is pretty! Even Prophet Muhammad was told not to do so! (33:52).

This Book (Quran) has clear and detailed verses (6:114) and there no doubt in it (2:2). We are advised not to attribute lies to Allah (6:22), not to setup our religious scholars and leaders as our lords (9:32) and not to seek any other source besides this Quran (77:50) otherwise the Prophet will complain on judgment day that we abandoned Quran (25:30).

Prophet's Marriages

The logical question you would ask me is what do I have to say regarding Prophet Muhammad multiple marriages. Things are a bit different for Prophet and ordinary believers.

33:50 - O Prophet! We have made lawful to thee thy wives to whom thou hast paid their
dowers; ... and a believing woman if she give herself unto the Prophet and the Prophet desire to ask her in marriage - a privilege for thee only, not for the (rest of) believers

Marriage was a special case for Prophet. Certain privileges were given to Prophet and not to believers. Perhaps, the quoted marriage cases fall in that category.

Prophethood is not an easy job. Prophet was made to do things which he did not want.

33:37 - ... and you concealed in your soul what Allah would bring to light, and you feared men, and Allah had a greater right that you should fear Him. But when Zaid had accomplished his want of her, We gave her to you as a wife, so that there should be no difficulty for the believers in respect of the wives of their adopted sons,...

Check Also:
1 - Child Marriage in Islam
2 - Divorce in Islam - The Quranic Perspective

Travel Prayers - Salat Qasr

Most of you would have heard of travel prayers, most of you even offer it while traveling. Its basically shortening of the regular prayers (e.g. 4 units of Noon prayers reduced to 2 units) so as to provide a convenience to travelers.

Let me show you the verse in Quran that allows so...

4:101 - When ye travel through the earth, there is no blame on you if ye shorten your prayers...

Right?
No in fact. Read the whole verse.

4:101 - When ye travel through the earth, there is no blame on you if ye shorten your prayers, for fear the Unbelievers May attack you: For the Unbelievers are unto you open enemies.

Things a bit clear now? You are only allowed to shorten the prayers if you fear you'll be attacked. Its not like when you pack your bags for another city you keep shortening your prayers.

And please do not tell me that Prophet Muhammad told muslims to do so...

10:15 - But when Our Clear Signs are rehearsed unto them, those who rest not their hope on their meeting with Us, Say: "Bring us a reading other than this, or change this," Say: "It is not for me, of my own accord, to change it: I follow naught but what is revealed unto me: if I were to disobey my Lord, I should myself fear the penalty of a Great Day (to come)."

Peace.

Women!

What kind of a mystery is a 'woman'?! They really are from Venus I swear! No no! Venus is too near by for this specie! They are from like.. another galaxy! where specie don't live by breathing oxygen rather suck it from others!

oh I know them!
No No! Not the I know "know" them kind.. its actually I know "do not!" kind!
??
(what the hell was that? what am I writing?)

No matter what you do for them.. it will be worthless! what will be more important is what you 'did not' do! You do 99 good things.. 1 thing you forget.. and hell would break lose!

Its like damned if you do and ... well you are already damned if you didn't!

And the gift! nothing is more important in this world than the gift! you give them anything you want with all the love you can... and if it is not tagged 'gift'... forget about it cuz they'll ask you where is their 'gift'.

'I do not ask for anything else... these small things matter alot' they'll say. And then you'll ask yourself how could you do this to anyone?! thats a cardinal sin! you are doomed my brother!

If you had an argument with them. Beware. The moment you try to make the conversation - you'll be snubbed. And after that you'll be snubbed for not making the communication! Lovely eh?!

The world is 'oh so pretty' when a woman presents it to you with her charm.. and she can make life hell the very next moment if you are not compliant! Its like the Security Council and all the veto votes are with them!

Damn. You cant live without them either.
OK I am trying to make another contact.....

This was written after a bout of word exchange.. and with a strong male bias.. so forgive me.
Oh better not!

Divorce In Islam - The Quranic Perspective

As a student of Quran, I am giving below questions that deal with the issue of divorce. There are lot of misconceptions regarding this issue which I hope can be removed. I would like your opinion on aspects which you think need to be highlighted. I have given references of verses and they are posted at the end. I have dealt with Divorce in the following with purely Quranic point of view - nothing else.

Q. Does pronouncing 'talaq' (divorce) 3 times nullify a marriage bond? “my husband pronounced the word 'divorce' more than three times, the first time we were back together within the iddat but the second time he said the word more than three times, and within a week he told me that he was in anger and he did not mean to divorce me.”

A. No. Uttering the word ‘talaq’ or divorce 3 times does not nullify a marriage bond. You have to appoint an arbiter from both the sides (4:35 - Sura Nisa Verse 35). It is a 'process' whereby husband and wife choose to separate. Its does not rest upon the whims of the husband.

Q. Does divorce take effect immediately?

A. There is a 4 month period for the divorce to take effect when the husband and wife decide to divorce (2:226). If they want to reconcile - more the better. After 4 months, the Divorce takes effect but a woman can not remarry as she has to wait for 3 menstrual cycles (iddat) (2:228). Both can still reconcile but after the end of this period, divorce is final and for that 2 witnesses have to be present (65:2).

Q. Can the divorce be given during pregnancy?

A. Divorce is a process. An arbiter from both sides has to be appointed (4:35). There is a 4 month period for the divorce to take effect (2:226) and so there is no issue of divorce taking effect when the wife is pregnant, she is menstruating, the husband was intoxicated, the husband was angry, he sent divorce through email, he did not mean it or he was joking.

Q. Is it true that Islam has vested the right to divorce with the husband only and not the wife?

A. This is not true. It is a process whereby husband and wife decide to divorce. (2:227)

Q. Is forced divorce accepted as divorce in Islam?

A. As already stated, it is a process and not a unilateral action by a certain person. Furthermore you have to have 2 witnesses in case of divorce to take effect (65:2). Witnesses are for the purpose that forced divorce does not take place. Arbiters from both the parties are to be appointed as well (4:35).

Q. What is 'Iddat' according to Quran?

A. 'Iddat' according to Quran are 3 menstruation cycles that a divorced woman has to observe before marrying again. This is to check for pregnancy. (2:228)

As for women who have reached menopause - their iddat is 3 months.

For women who are not menstruating for any reason - their iddat is 3 months.

For women who do not menstruate and are pregnant- their iddat ends when they deliver the child (65:4).

Q. What if someone does not observe 'iddat'?

A. There are guidelines in Quran for observing iddat and not otherwise. It will be better to observe iddat because it will remove a lot of ambiguities (perhaps). What is the hurry any way in remarrying?

Q. Can the husband evict the wife from house during the 3 month course?

A. She cannot be evicted from the house during this time (65:1).

Q. What if the husband is abusive and the woman does not want to stay with him? Should a woman stay in the same house during this waiting period?

A. There is no restriction on her to stay in the same house during this course.

Q. But Verse (65:1) states that she should stay at the same place?

A. In my opinion, the verse states the responsibilities of husband and wife. He can not evict her from the house and she is advised to better stay put. This is a general guideline so that reconciliation between the two can take place. As the verse states... "...Thou knowest not: it may be that Allah will afterward bring some new thing to pass."

Q. I have read that when the husband divorces his wife, she will have to spend her ‘Iddat’ in the matrimonial home. She must not leave the house during the day nor at night. Is it true?

A. Nowhere the wife is restricted to spend the ‘iddat’ at the husbands place and she is not prohibited from leaving the house as well.

Q. What if the divorced woman has no where to go, what should be done?

A. After the divorce, the husband is not allowed to force the wife out of the home and he is not allowed to misbehave with her (65:6 and 2:231). She can stay at the same place.

Q. Can a husband force the wife to stay with him after divorce?

A. He can not keep her with him against her wish if she does not want to stay at that place (2:231).

Q. I have heard that a Muslim woman is not entitled to ongoing maintenance. Is it true? Shall a divorced woman be provided for maintenance?

A. A divorced woman can not be forced out of the house by the husband (65:6). The ex-husband has to provide for her according to his means (2:241), of course it has to be an equitable provision (65:7).

Q. I have read that 'A woman observing the Iddat should neither go out of the house nor remarry, nor indulge in beautifying herself through make-up. Is it true?

A. She is only disallowed to re-marry. She can do whatever she pleases to do otherwise.

Q. Can the ex-husband and wife come back again after divorce?

A. Yes they can (2:232).

Q. What if the husband is missing for 60 days? Does divorce take effect?

A. Quran is silent when either of the spouse is 'missing' for any reason for whatever number of days. The reason for this is that it is left for the individual/ court or State to decide what is the best possible means to protect or promote the interests of either of the spouse. So do what is deemed best.

If you find this information useful or otherwise, do comment.

Quranic References:

4:35 - And if ye fear a breach between them twain (the man and wife), appoint an arbiter from his folk and an arbiter from her folk. If they desire amendment Allah will make them of one mind. Lo! Allah is ever Knower, Aware.

2:226 - Those who forswear their wives must wait four months; then, if they change their mind, lo! Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.

2:227 - But if their intention is firm for divorce, Allah heareth and knoweth all things.

2:228 - Women who are divorced shall wait, keeping themselves apart, three (monthly) courses. And it is not lawful for them that they should conceal that which Allah hath created in their wombs if they are believers in Allah and the Last Day. And their husbands would do better to take them back in that case if they desire a reconciliation. And they (women) have rights similar to those (of men) over them in kindness, and men are a degree above them. Allah is Mighty, Wise.

2:231 - When ye have divorced women, and they have reached their term, then retain them in kindness or release them in kindness. Retain them not to their hurt so that ye transgress (the limits). He who doeth that hath wronged his soul. Make not the revelations of Allah a laughing-stock (by your behaviour), but remember Allah's grace upon you and that which He hath revealed unto you of the Scripture and of wisdom, whereby He doth exhort you. Observe your duty to Allah and know that Allah is Aware of all things.

2:232 - When ye divorce women, and they fulfil the term of their ('Iddat), do not prevent them from marrying their (former) husbands, if they mutually agree on equitable terms. This instruction is for all amongst you, who believe in Allah and the Last Day. That is (the course Making for) most virtue and purity amongst you and Allah knows, and ye know not.

2:241 - For divorced women Maintenance (should be provided) on a reasonable (scale). This is a duty on the righteous.

65:1 - O Prophet! When ye (men) put away women, put them away for their (legal) period and reckon the period, and keep your duty to Allah, your Lord. Expel them not from their houses nor let them go forth unless they commit open immorality. Such are the limits (imposed by) Allah; and whoso transgresseth Allah's limits, he verily wrongeth his soul. Thou knowest not: it may be that Allah will afterward bring some new thing to pass.

65:2 - Then, when they have reached their term, take them back in kindness or part from them in kindness, and call to witness two just men among you, and keep your testimony upright for Allah. Whoso believeth in Allah and the Last Day is exhorted to act thus. And whosoever keepeth his duty to Allah, Allah will appoint a way out for him,

65:4 - And for such of your women as despair of menstruation, if ye doubt, their period (of waiting) shall be three months, along with those who have it not. And for those with child, their period shall be till they bring forth their burden. And whosoever keepeth his duty to Allah, He maketh his course easy for him.

65:6 - Lodge them where ye dwell, according to your wealth, and harass them not so as to straiten life for them. And if they are with child, then spend for them till they bring forth their burden. Then, if they give suckle for you (off-spring), give them their due payment and consult together in kindness; but if ye make difficulties for one another, then let some other woman give suckle for him.

65:7 - Let him who hath abundance spend of his abundance, and he whose provision is measured, let him spend of that which Allah hath given him. Allah asketh naught of any soul save that which He hath given it. Allah will vouchsafe, after hardship, ease.

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