Four Weddings (of a muslim) and a Funeral (of common sense)

(During a discussion)

X: More than one marriage is allowed for man. It is our belief as a muslim.

I: Not for fun brother.

X: some times first wife is not beautiful so man has to do 2nd marriage in order to keep himself away from adultery.

I: That was really a very sick reason my brother :)

X: It is allowed in Islam for 2nd marriage or further. I don't say that if wife is not beautiful then husband has right to misbehave with her. Wife is wife, husband is bound to give him full rights which includes care and love also.

But be realistic, sometime man is not satisfy with her ugly wife and this thing also effects the relation between them. So 2nd marriage is the solution in that case, for first wife also.

I: why do you relate it to sexual lust only? If she is not pretty so the husband follows the course of adultery?! how brilliant. When Quran teaches you to abstain from sex.. why cant you do that?

X: Man should be away from adultery but marriage is the right way for this purpose. In Islam 4 marriages are allowed.

I: Suppose a man marries 4 ladies.. what is the guarantee that this will not happen? 'some times .. wife is not beautiful so man has to do ... marriage in order to keep himself away from adultery.'?

X: Islam is actually best guidance for man. Man should take advantage of support from Islam in order to refrain from adultery.

I: so why cant you refrain from adultery while being with the first wife? Is not Islam the best guidance for man in one wife's case?

X: In Islam four wives are allowed!

I: hehe! ok :)

Related Posts

- Polygamy in Islam - The Quranic Perspective

A Conversation

Disclaimer:

The following is a conversation between two believers. If you are not one of them or think that muslims and people of certain are plain nuts.. please visit this site instead of wasting your time reading my post.

Peace.
------------------------------------------------------------------

X: So do u think the prophets had to believe in themselves being prophets to be muslims?

I: I think the question should be this “So do u think the prophets had to believe in themselves being prophets”

X: & then the answer would be?

I: i think they had this intoxicated feeling through which they could not find a away to escape. And they must have been too afraid to ‘let down’ their followers.

X: By the way I was serious!

I: I am not kidding!

Sometimes I think being a prophet was the worst job! I swear! Think of what it entails! Let me give you an example. One fine day, you are told to marry your adopted sons wife. How does that sound? easy eh?

X: My initial question remains unanswered! I am not talking about job complications nutcase!

I: That is why I answered the first question... it would have been totally difficult to deal with it. They cant escape the feeling that something unusual but in reality is happening to them, cant get away from it, cant run away from it. So kind of intoxicated feeling. ‘what the hell am I supposed to do now’ feeling. It must not have been about self belief.. I am totally sure of that.

X: So they just got stuck with the deal?!! Yani whether I believe im a prophet or not I have to go through this!?

I: I totally think so :) You think its a dream.. no it IS a dream and out pops Gabriel! ‘No my son this aint a dream!’

Now what the hell?! You are being told to ditch everything your ancestors have been told and you know you don't do drugs! That is trouble!

X: So … there isn’t a yes or no answer!! :p

I: It lies somewhere in between :) Definitely not ‘Self Belief’! cuz self belief cant make you marry your adopted sons wife!

X: Not self belief… but at some time u have to believe that u are the chosen one, the torch bearer… how else would u bring urself to marry ur adopted son’s wife

I: By being forced to! Torch Bearer makes you very conservative.

X: how

I: Every act you do must be in ‘accordance’ to the higher goals of social acceptability. Example of a torch bearer is pharoh, who has to maintain all the traits of royalty and continue to rule people. Torch bearer is your religious scholar.. no matter how pervert he is. He has to show that he is very religious. Prophet ‘discards’ everything. More like a cult.

Btw, people use Schizophrenia as the reason for the prophets :)

X: Yea… that’s when they’re being polite! :p

Why a State Matters

Karachi saw Abdullah Shah Ghazi's mausoleum being bombed by suicide bombers yesterday. I a regular follower of that route and I know how crowded it is even on normal weekdays forget about Thursday which enjoys significance amongst shrine-attendees (because its day before Friday, the sacred day of muslims). The suicide bombers not only hit a shrine, they also hit the most popular place karachiites love to visit - that too in the most posh of localities. Karachiites being shocked is an understatement.

Before that, it was Daata Darbar where suicide bombers struck in Lahore - a source of 'shirk' as the attackers would say so it had to be dealt with. Rehman Baba shrine near Peshawar has been bombed twice. Allied to this is the issue of murder of notable scholars. Just recently, Dr. Mohammad Farooq, vice chancellor of Swat University, who openly opposed suicide bombings and terrorism carried out in the name of Islam, was killed in Mardan. Before that we had Mufti Sarfaraz Naeemi, a very popular religious scholar in Lahore whose academy was hit by suicide bombers and he was killed. He too openly condemned militaristic acts carried out in the name of Islam and especially had a distaste for suicide bombings.

Behind all these acts, lurches a philosophy of 'Prevention of Vice', apart from the modus operandi for the implementation. Some people say that 'evil has to be stopped by hand'. Unfortunately, this is what happens when individuals or entities take this responsibility upon themselves to prevent vice and promote virtue. According to opinion, visits to shrines and placing offering are unislamic and this have to be stopped. Attacks on shrines are exactly for this purpose. The scholars were killed not because of any vice but having ideas that may lead to acts that perhaps hinder the 'good causes'; like jihad. What would Dr. Mohammad Farooq know about jihad, who has written 5 books on it, as compared to good old medressah produced talib who perhaps does not even know any other thing than rote learning of Quran?

Taliban attacked various shrines in Swat. For them, person of opposing sect is also not tolerable. Pir Safiullah, a barelvi, the opponent of Taliban, his grave was dug up, his head chopped and his body was hung by the pole. Taliban go with the same argument - stop the evil and impose their version of Islam as only they are the custodians.

Lal Mosque brigade thought the same - stop the vice as they were mandated to check it in society. They do not understand that taking law in their own hands is not productive for the society. Take for example the case of 2 brothers that were lynched in Sialkot. People took them for robbers and hung their bodies on poles after killing them. The whole nation was shocked. Why? because people are not supposed to take law into their own hands.

People of a society, collectively, assign the responsibility of governance and dispensation of justice to Govt, The State. They abide to be governed by Laws and Constitution. Why? because this is how order is maintained in a chaotic environment. No doubt there are weaknesses in a system and that is why people choose their elected representatives to bring the change.

But choosing the path of Lal Mosque brigade, the Taliban - by enforcing change, and a change that favors their own opinion, is downright oppressive and extremely dangerous.That is why the entity called State gains more importance wherein people live according to agreed upon code of conduct. That is why, it is even more important, that no rule or law be made that somehow infringes upon the rights of people based upon, if not any other criteria, then religious beliefs of majority people. Am I calling for a secular constitution?! Is it 'Damn You' I hear?! Shit.

The point is - that we pakistanis live under a constitution in which it is stated that we are an 'Islamic Republic'! We are not infidels for heavens sake. This has to be told and reminded to people like Taliban, Lal Mosque types, right wingers and ordinary people alike! No body should try to take law in their own hands. The Objectives Resolution in 1973 Constitution of Pakistan states that all authority and sovereignty belongs to God, that He has delegated this authority to the Pakistani state through elected representatives, that people will according to Islamic teachings, minorities will be given their rights and everyone will enjoy the universal fundamental rights. Why would anyone rebel against it?!

Try to improve upon the system ladies and gentlemen... not fight it.

Peace.

Data Privacy in Pakistan

Check the following image.



This is a call information of a customer subscribed to one of the leading cellular services of this country. It contains information regarding customer name, the phone number, all the numbers that the customer dialed, when and for how long. I have edited the information of course.

Now. How did I hack into the Mobilink database and got meself all the confidential data? How many people did I connive with to release this information (which could be yours too)? In fact I got this from the local bread-maker (tandoor wala) who had to give me something to wrap the bread in. Well I was not surprized as earlier, once, I got a central bank inspection report of a financial institution from a paan-wala. He had made small paper bags of it.

Startling? Appears so. Your complete calling record is in open - anyone who wants to exploit something - sellers selling you their ware, some nut case compiling a whole CD of contact numbers and then selling it! social engineers and perhaps terrorists? I get all sorts of items for purchase as spam by sms on my cell phone: travel agents, tuition, medicine, plots and homes etc - even get offers to buy the CD that has all sorts of contact numbers to be used for spamming for Rs.1,000 only. So your number, and all the 'genuine' contacts on this piece of paper have a market of their own and people are willing to pay for it.

Why we Pakistanis are so aloof of information privacy? Well frankly our tele-marketing environment is very nascent in Pakistan. We had, and still have, the good old Pakistan Telecommunication Company Limited (PTCL) , the state owned telecommunication company to provide us with the voice services. They still send the customer bill printed on paper, not in envelope, for the view of everyone that is interested in knowing about you. Yes private companies are careful but they will show lax controls in other areas. For example how did a whole bunch of documents related to customer calls lands in restaurants which is a mere 4 months old. We have had instances where call center's representatives 'shared' data with each other and you'd be receiving call from someone who wanted you to subscribe to the latest credit card offering of a financial institution. You might think where the hell did this guy/ gal get my number? The answer lies somewhere in the wrapper that you are holding while munching on the popcorns in it.

Some serious attitude change is required by the Pakistanis. God Help.

Beavis &Ijaz Butt

“I hate words.”
“Words suck.”
“If I wanted to read, I’d go to school.”

(with due apologies to Butthead)


Related Posts

- 'No Balls'
- This Aint Cricket
- Pakistani Cricket & Erectile Dysfunction
- PostMan's First Law of Pakistani Cricket Motion

No Balls

Q: What does it take to be a Pakistani Cricketer?
A: No Balls.

It has been reported that People for Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) has asked the three Pakistani cricketers currently embroiled in Spot Fixing scandal to represent them in an advertisement that advises cat and dog neutering. According to them

“No-balls may be a bad thing in cricket, but for dogs and cats, ‘no balls’ are a lifesaver,”

“Countless other animals, including many in Pakistan, struggle to survive on the streets — starving and being hit by vehicles and abused by cruel people.

“‘Fixing’ dogs and cats by having them spayed or neutered is the key to ending this suffering.”

(Link)

I totally support this move. I further suggest that the International Cricket Council (ICC), the games governing body, should also make a neutering advertisement for cricketers that are involved in Match or Sport Fixing and these three should be the ones in the first of the planned series of advertisements - after being given the treatment of course. That should do good.

Related Post
- This Aint Cricket
- Pakistani Cricket & Erectile Dysfunction
- PostMan's First Law of Pakistani Cricket Motion
- Beavis & Ijaz Butt

Will Mother Teresa Go To Heaven?

Put this question to a muslim then see the reaction. The answer most probably will range from the straight-in-your-face 'No she will not, she was a christian', to 'well she did good deeds but only monotheists will go to heaven.' or to the considerate 'she will go to heaven for her good deeds but after expiating herself.'

Now put the same question to the muslim with he himself being the subject: 'Will you go to heaven?' Whatever the answer - how does he know what will happen to him? How can anyone know what will happen to the other person regarding matters of faith?

Problem with muslims is (and not just muslims) that when they analyze people in term of faith, they tend to downgrade the other. How? Consider the case of Ahmadis. They are the 'scumbags' of this earth for most of the muslims - and why? because they believe in a different person as Prophet. Two things come to my mind. 1) How does another persons faith affect my own faith? and 2) How on earth a certain faith can describe the character of another person? Apparently, every mullah should be an angel. Really? I do not think so.

I know God is very clear in Quran - and Books before it that only thing unpardonable is polytheism. But this is my belief since I am the follower of that Book. This in no way should translate in to downgrading of others peoples belief or being judgmental about their character. As to the question whether muslims will enter heaven - God has answered in Quran that this is not the prerogative of muslims only.

Quran 2:62 -Those who believe (in the Qur'an), and those who follow the Jewish (scriptures), and the Christians and the Sabians,- any who believe in Allah and the Last Day, and work righteousness, shall have their reward with their Lord; on them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve.

Anyone can go to heaven provided they believe in God, do good deeds and know that they will be held accountable for their acts. Yes I know it still is restrictive in nature but that is what I am supposed to believe in. I will explain myself later on this point.

If you would think that only muslims will go to heaven and that would be the end of story - forget it. Muslims today consist of various sects - the umbrella at the top being divided between Shias and Sunnis. Then there are various sub-sects within them and each considers itself the only inheritors of paradise.

So Angeline Jolie, by todays standards, cannot go to heaven for all her brilliant humanitarian deeds because she is not a muslim. Even if she were a muslim, she had to be a syed, shia or sunni (depending on what your belief is) to be entitled for heaven. Tough luck Jolie!

My argument - why fret with who is going to heaven or not when there is no clear distinction between humans regarding matters of faith and certainly when HE says He will judge ultimately? My God, after all, is a creation of my own beliefs. What if there is no Judgment Day and we all get screwed?

So what message do we muslims get from the Quran on this issue? Interestingly Quran informs muslims (and which is the 'moral' of my post) to 'maintain' their opinion of faith and let the matter be decided by God Himself on the day of judgment.

42:15 - Now then, for that (reason), call (them to the Faith), and stand steadfast as thou art commanded, nor follow thou their vain desires; but say: "I believe in the Book which Allah has sent down; and I am commanded to judge justly between you. Allah is our Lord and your Lord: for us (is the responsibility for) our deeds, and for you for your deeds. There is no contention between us and you. Allah will bring us together, and to Him is (our) Final Goal.

109:06 - For you is your religion, and for me is mine.

PostMan's Law of First Interactions

The person will sound very different than what you had imagined the first time you get to hear him/ her.

This Aint Cricket

Well its a case of cow-dung hitting the fan. Only in this case, one realizes that the instance has happened before couple of times and you have been in the same room all along.

Pakistanis are again in the news regarding Match Fixing allegations. Although, to be more specific, these allegations relate to Spot Fixing rather than Match Fixing but still they ultimately lead to match fixing. I lost my interest in cricket way back in 90s when Wasims and Salim Maliks of this world were accused to various things. It was a mix platter perhaps. Wasim's weird acts on fields like Banglore Quarter final. The damning judicial probe in which our 'stars' did not cooperate at all. The judge in the match fixing probe wrote that things were murkier as Wasim only got the benefit of the doubt because Ata ur Rehman changed his testimony. Some of the cricketers were fined. Perhaps it was Ijaz Ahmad, a lobster with weird human like movements who somehow always managed to get his leg before the wicket. Perhaps the loss to Bangladesh in 1999 World Cup nailed it for me.

Anyways. The pathetic performance in cricket field was stunningly acted out according to the script laid out by a certain Mr. Mazhar Majeed. To be fair, these are just allegations and nothing has been proved yet as investigations are still continuing but you never know. Had the investigation been in Pakistan then you would certainly know that nothing would happen. The report will be hidden somewhere, if there are bans and fines then they will be lowered/ removed for the greater good of Pakistani cricket. And that is where the real problem lies.

Various reasons have been put forward as to why Pakistanis 'would' indulge in match fixing. First one being that Pakistani cricketers are not educated. They have not been instilled with the morals and values of a dignified character. I beg to differ. Check our country from top to bottom - and I will not talk of President here. Our educated elite is the most corrupt whether they are generals, judges, politicians, journalists - all educated supposed to be instilled with all the good qualities - still involved in corruption. So education ranks low when it comes to finding the blame.

You can blame the society. Sure. But saying that since everyone is corrupt so what if the players did this? Saying 'this was just a case of spot-fixing, not match fixing! they did not give away the match! It was just 3 balls and had no impact whatsoever on the result of the match!' It is a down right stupid argument. Saying 'even Mark Waugh and Shane Warne did it' does not make it kosher an act! That was wrong. This is wrong. Sure our young cricketers do not have a role model but that does not mean that a negative role model be followed! If three no balls can be allowed then next time its the whole god damn match that will be on offer.

In this context it is said that our cricketers are paid low by the Board. Well give me a break! they earn too much compared to other sport players, they are even better than professionals working in banks! I do agree that 'black money' in cricket is huge. The betting syndicates in India and Pakistan are very active and have loads and loads of money at their disposal. And cricketers are in the target list.

Then there is thing called conspiracy and we Pakistanis just love it. The conspiracy says that Pakistani cricketers (bowlers) were targeted because they were performing really well. Honestly, this is the case of not focusing on why the cow-dung hit the fan but whether the cow-dung was thrown at the fan to slow it down. Ridiculous!

The Pakistan Cricket Board is in shambles led by a person who does not even know where he himself is going. The guy did not send Younis Khan on this England tour because he had a personal tiff with him. Amazing. The management who should have kept a check on players activities was no where.

For me, No Accountability is the only factor that results in the mess that Pakistani cricket finds itself in. Had we been fair to ourselves after the judicial commission report then many cricket
personalities should have been given the necessary treatment. After the debacle in Australia recently, the investigative report should have been released, why the fines and bans imposed should have been detailed. Why the fines and bans were removed should be explained! This is just a joke. And honestly the joke is on us - poor Pakistani fans.

And this sucks more. Why do I believe we will be taken once more for a ride.

Related Posts

- 'No Balls'
- Pakistani Cricket & Erectile Dysfunction
- PostMan's First Law of Pakistani Cricket Motion
- Beavis & Ijaz Butt

PostMan's Law of Lifts - II

As soon as you lift your finger to press the close button of the lift's door (if it feels like its taking time to close), the door will close by itself.

Pakistan - To Do List

Being a member of ArmChair Analysts Party, I am drawing up a To-Do list of what to do with Pakistan in case I become a Prime Minister. I know its a tough thinking assignment but being a drawing room armchair analyst for quite some years now, I have become adept in it. Of course I being of the group that only talks and does nothing in reality to help change the situation in my country, for this 14th August Independence Day, I am offering here my Top-10 To-Do List for Pakistan.

Please feel free to come up with your own Top-10 or Top-15, (Top 5?) if you like, of things to do to Pakistan if you were made the Prime Minister. I am 'thinking' (as usual) that perhaps this may result in ideas that can perhaps be read by someone who can do something to change the situation - perhaps a least bit. Or any good idea that can be picked up by someone to be implemented. Or a list that we can draw up and perhaps (ludicrously) make part of political parties manifesto - assure them that we will vote for them. Some moron is going to win so the wish list could be made a part of every party's manifesto.

The list could be anything that comes to your mind. They can be very practical to totally ridiculous. Ridiculous has a lot of creativity I believe. What I would prefer is a wish list that is with a certain practical implementation of it. So here is my To-Do list.

1 - Disband the Moonsighting committee. Observe the first of ramadan with Saudia to clean up the domestic mess. Trust me its a mess. I am from Peshawar and I live in Karachi so every year I get to taste the best of 'mayhem' in this country. I have witnessed situation in which half of my family was observing fast and half celebrating Eid! Why waste time on such issues?

2 - Rename part of Arabian Sea as Pakistan Sea. I agree with Ardsher Cowasjee.. why not?

3 - Make ISI accountable for their deeds. If they are so good, they should be applauded - if not - made to pay. They can be made to speak through elected representatives, kinda like congressional hearings in US. I know they get a lot of bad PR, let them give a voice too eh?

4 - Make a centralized coordination centre of information sharing for all the intelligence agencies to prevent terrorism attacks. What I have seen is that information of impending terrorist attack is already there but was not shared with all in time thus preventing the loss of innocent lives and loss of capable administrators in form of Police officers or elected representatives.

5 - Make a truly independent authority in Karachi to bring to book the culprits that have created mayhem in the city. We seriously need that in Karachi as lot of innocent blood has been spilled.

6 - Introduce uniform education curriculum all over the country. Yes its a provincial subject but force the provinces to do so. Every Pakistani child needs to have a good education and that requires a good uniform curriculum. Every public and private school should be made to follow it - including medressahs. They can offer 'other' subjects if they wish to but there should be standard minimum for all.

7 - Make Competition Commission of Pakistan a truly independent authority. That should make a lot of cartels wet their pants. This would ensure that Courts do not have to take the suo-moto course which is not right in my opinion. The findings of Competition Commission can be be presented in court and let they decide what the final verdict is.

8 - Ensure that every classified information is declassified after a certain time period. We need to know a lot of what has happened in the past. This should make assignment of responsibility possible and things could come to fore as to why something happened.

9 - Remove the Blasphemy and Hudood Laws from the law books of Pakistan. Remove the condition of 'muslim only' head of state. The Blasphemy Laws are only used to exploit the minorities - there is nothing sacred to them. Regarding 'muslim only' head of State condition, I believe its totally discriminatory since every 'Pakistani' has the right to serve the nation regardless of the faith. I would be better off with a capable 'infidel' ahmadi than a dumb-ass mullah.

10 - Make mandatory on big corporates for establishment of water filtration plants by assigning them districts of Pakistan and make them accountable through elected representatives and media. Clean water should be accessible to all pakistanis and this may lead to reduction in lots of diseases.

So whats your list?

To My Friend

*salute*

if there is any definition, characteristic of an entity called friend... thats her.

PostMan's Law of Child Instinct

The moment you set yourself for meal, your child needs to go to the washroom.

Horrendous

I just received an email forwarding that contained pictures of burnt, charred dead bodies of passengers of flight AirBlue that crashed in Islamabad hills.

What the fuck is wrong with us?

PostMan's Self Analysis

A Man is chained to his prejudices.

Headline of the Day

'Butt open to suggestions' ... (link)

Thank God I know its a caste/ clan.

PostMan's Restaurant Law

The food at the other person's table looks really nice.

Poker - A Game of Chance or Skill?

Some very nice articles in the Economist on gambling. Here is one on whether Poker is a game of chance or skill.

'Most experienced players insist that success at poker is not about luck. David Sklansky, author of “The Theory of Poker” writes that “expert players do not rely on luck. They are at war with luck. They use their skills to minimise luck as much as possible.” In poker, as in life, luck can happen to anyone; it is evenly distributed. Skilled players know how to take advantage of it when it happens to them, and get out of the way when it is someone else’s turn.'

This is not a theoretical point; it is at the heart of a dispute about poker’s future in America, the country of its birth and its largest single market. UIGEA (the enforcement mechanisms of which have only just come into effect, even though the act was passed in 2006) bans financial institutions from transferring funds for bets in which “opportunity to win is predominantly subject to chance.” Poker has been judged to fall into that category'

A 2009 study carried out by Cigital, a software consultancy, analysed 103m hands of one of the main varieties of poker, Texas Hold ’em, played at Pokerstars.com, and found that over 75% of them were decided before a showdown. They thus depended far more on the players’ betting decisions than on the cards dealt. The Poker Players’ Alliance, a million-strong group of aficionados, argued in the South Carolina Supreme Court that “the structure and rules allow sufficient room for a player’s exercise of skill to overcome the chance element in the game.”

Yet perhaps the clearest argument in favour of poker being skill- rather than chance-dependent comes from Mr Sklansky, and it has to do with losing rather than winning. Imagine trying intentionally to lose at a game of pure chance, like roulette or baccarat. It would be impossible. At the beginning of a deal or a roll you have to bet on something. You can no more deliberately play badly than you can deliberately play well. The same is not true for poker, which offers multiple opportunities to make sure you lose.

-Link-

PostMan's Uncertainty Principle

Never criticize another man's belief or faith unless you are absolutely sure about your own.


PostMan's Fact on Uncertainty Principle

No one is sure.



Update on 19th July 2010

'No one is sure - apart from bigots and suicide bombers.'

Countering Hatred

A good one. We have to defeat the monster of hatred if we are to survive in this world.

Egyptian veil martyr commemorated in Germany

DRESDEN, Germany: A plaque commemorating a pregnant heads carved Egyptian woman whose murder in a German court shocked the Muslim world was unveiled on Thursday in Dresden, in the east of the country.
...
During a trial in July last year, 28-year-old Alex Wiens plunged an 18-centimetre kitchen knife at least 16 times into Sherbini, three-months pregnant at the time with her second child. Her son, Mustafa, three years old at the time, watched her bleed to death in the courtroom. Sherbini’s husband, Egyptian geneticist Elwy Okaz, rushed to her aid but was also stabbed repeatedly and then shot in the leg by a police officer who was unsure who was the attacker.

The Russian-born Wiens was acting out of revenge after she had pressed charges against him for calling her a “terrorist”, “Islamist” and “whore” during a dispute over a playground swing.

.. (Link)