Men's Status

There are two statuses of men:
1 - Married.
2 - Weird.

Pregnant Hands

Ahem. Reference to the below link here in which an imam has stated that masturbation will lead to hands being pregnant in the after life.

Well, one thing is for sure, I bet left hand will see the most pregnancies.

Certified Opportunity Cost Specialists

Never heard of them? Are you sure? I can assure you that are you are well aware of them. They  can make you realize what it cost you for the options you did not take OR they can make a complete assessment for the current cost of not deploying a particular resource*. You will then realize that what you have done and are are currently doing - is plain ridiculous. These Opportunity Cost Specialists are very common in fact. You know one already - she is your wife.


*Consider the following example. Suppose you have not done a particular thing she has reminded you of doing. She will then keep telling you everything other instance - that how no doing that particular thing X1, it is resulting in non-completion of things A, B, C, D E,F... X,Y,Z. She will prepare a list what extra could have been done had you done that task by now - even though she will never herself do them BUT since you did not do it hence it will cost you. The world is one tough place my friend.

Swipe To Irritate

Today's smart phones have a screen lock features - some use PIN, some screen patterns and couple of them face recognition. If you use PIN or pattern, how many numbers or simple a pattern would you choose? just simple enough so that the screen does not automatically unlock by accident or finger movement. Some people, it seems, are not even satisfied with that.

A person came to me with a phone and it had a screen pattern lock enabled. He also had a paper chit on which the pattern to unlock the phone was given. Quite safe to say that I had never seen anything lke that. It had all the arrows guiding pattern movement steps and it seemed more like a treasure map. It took three of us people to keep trying to unlock it but to no avail. I somehow figured out that the pattern should follow something else - a slight change from what was written on the chit. Anyhow I managed to open the screen lock. Now let me share with you the swipe pattern. It goes like 1,5,7,5,3,5,8,6,9,8,5,4,2. Unimaginable seriously. Why would anyone do that?

You think you have seen it all but it keeps coming and coming.

And You Think You've Seen It All - III

Q & A - Pakistan For Sunni Men

Question: 'Our population is one that heavily dictates their life through religion... Pakistan could slowly become a country strictly for Muslims, then strictly for Sunni Muslims and then strictly for Sunni Muslim men and who knows what else after?'

http://blogs.tribune.com.pk/story/13359/pakistan-is-not-only-for-muslims/

Answer: Looking at the brighter conclusion of this scenario... homosexuality will be allowed for Sunni men at least.


Related Post:
- Question For a Mullah

And You Think You've Seen It All - II

Yup. that's right. These are fan blades hanging by wire to let them dry.
Never had seen that for sure.
Thanks to 'someone' for forwarding.




Related Post


'And You Think You Have Seen It All - I'

My Blog

More than 6 years have passed since I started this blog. It certainly has changed in all these years because the scope widened for which I initially started this blog. Anyways, thought to share some snippets from my blog:


- My blog has been visited by 150 countries and territories. Visitors are not that much though in numbers. Pakistan just overtook USA as the place where I got most visitors from.

- The most viewed post has been 'Divorce in Islam - A Quranic Perspective' indicating the prevalence of this issue world wide.

- The second most viewed, is 'Urdu Word for Orgasm' - not because of the post itself but due to the search terms like 'how to get orgasm in urdu' etc. There was one search term of 'diagram of female orgasm in urdu'. The latter even interests me.

- A lot of visitors to my blog come to know whether 'female sex slaves (are) allowed in Islam' and whether 'one gets virgins when dies'. After 9/11 perhaps, lot of focus is on Islam and belief system of muslims so people want to know about these things more.

- Muslims and non-muslims want to know about 'Planet Mars in Islam' and whether there are 'muslims on other planets'. Are they not enough on this Earth?

- Some want to know whether 'Cleopatra was a muslim' or 'Nefertiti was a muslim'. Wish I knew.

- Curiosity it seems bugs some when they come to my blog searching for 'when do a muslims deeds go to heaven mondays and thursdays' and whether 'Coke Studio allowed in Islam'. A bit too much eh?

- I agree that Islam is kinda all pervasive fact for muslims and they need to find solutions for their problems but trust me Islam has no solution for this .. 'in islam solution for erectile dysfunction'.

- And what on earth is this? Can somebody explain? 'muslim nude slit'

- Lot of visitors come to my blog searching for 'nude beaches in Pakistan'. Amazing isn't it? Where are they anyways in Pakistan? and who on earth wants to come in Pakistan and be nude? to be stoned?

- Indian visitors come looking for 'Hina Rabbani Khar in jeans'. What is with Indians regarding Hina Rabbani Khar? and that too in jeans? OK I get the latter part, whats with the former?

- Indian visitors also come looking for 'postman rhymes'. I have never heard postman rhymes honestly. 'dakya aya.. daak laya'? Also, I never felt this. Too bad. 'crush on my muslim postman'

- Women Cricketers of Pakistan get more attention on my blog with search terms like 'love affairs of pakistani women cricket team'. People actually search these?

- I did a post on a teenage girl that went solo yachting across the globe 'Girl Going Solo'. I kept getting visitors on it for quite a long time intriguing me as to what is in it that interests people? Turns out, its a porn site.

All of the visitors have my respect, this was not meant to be disrespectful. I might keep updating this one.

Regards

Death - A Tough Calling

Just met a friend of ours who lost her father. She had tears in her eyes. I imagined my daughter in her place and teary eyed.


I can not see tears in my daughter's eyes.

And After All This?

You fight. You win. You lose. You take a beating. You beat the hell out of someone. You dive in water. You dive in deep. You dive in shallow. The water is crystal clear. The water is muddy. Something sticks to you. You somehow get free of something. Something overpowers you and leaves you breathless. Something heavy just sits on your chests and leaves you frozen. Then it somehow leaves you and you are all perspiring. You are amongst people who have left this world. They come and talk to you. They make you smile. They make you cry. They make you afraid. You find something or someone that you lost. You lose something or someone you love. You are at unfamiliar place with familiar people. Sometimes you are with unfamiliar people at familiar places. Sometimes the place you know so much presents a very weird look. It is gloomy. It is dark. It is worn out. You do not want to be here.  Sometimes you see green and sometimes blood red. Sometimes its white. Sometimes its bright.  Sometimes it fireflies. Sometimes its fire works. You always wanted to be here. You inhale. You exhale. You want to scream. You want to shout. You want to cry. You want to release a cry of joy. Sometimes you do all this. Sometimes you just cannot. Sometimes you feel it. You feel it like its real. You feel it can not be fake. You see a beautiful bird. You see a hideous beast. The bird touches you. The beast comes for you. Sometimes the beast transforms in to something you do not like. Like a lizard. A spider. A snake. Something you despise. Something you dread. You do not want to be here! Oh you always wanted to be here! Oh let it continue!


And after all this, you have to wake up from the dream.

PostMan's Suspicion on 'Art of War'

I think everyone got it wrong about the most famous of military treatise, 'Art of War'. It was supposed to be about marriage.

The Fair Skin Dilemma

All those who criticize skin fairness creams, and advertisements promoting them, as racist, are themselves fair skinned. The rest are using whatever means possible to be fair skinned.

Pakistani Car Number Plates

Submissions are welcome.

Earthquake in Karachi

At the time of earthquake, instead of fearing God, one is fearing the quality of the construction material used in your abode.

:|

Beavis &Ijaz Butt

“I hate words.”
“Words suck.”
“If I wanted to read, I’d go to school.”

(with due apologies to Butthead)


Related Posts

- 'No Balls'
- This Aint Cricket
- Pakistani Cricket & Erectile Dysfunction
- PostMan's First Law of Pakistani Cricket Motion

No Balls

Q: What does it take to be a Pakistani Cricketer?
A: No Balls.

It has been reported that People for Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) has asked the three Pakistani cricketers currently embroiled in Spot Fixing scandal to represent them in an advertisement that advises cat and dog neutering. According to them

“No-balls may be a bad thing in cricket, but for dogs and cats, ‘no balls’ are a lifesaver,”

“Countless other animals, including many in Pakistan, struggle to survive on the streets — starving and being hit by vehicles and abused by cruel people.

“‘Fixing’ dogs and cats by having them spayed or neutered is the key to ending this suffering.”

(Link)

I totally support this move. I further suggest that the International Cricket Council (ICC), the games governing body, should also make a neutering advertisement for cricketers that are involved in Match or Sport Fixing and these three should be the ones in the first of the planned series of advertisements - after being given the treatment of course. That should do good.

Related Post
- This Aint Cricket
- Pakistani Cricket & Erectile Dysfunction
- PostMan's First Law of Pakistani Cricket Motion
- Beavis & Ijaz Butt

Headline of the Day

'Butt open to suggestions' ... (link)

Thank God I know its a caste/ clan.

Nude Beaches in Pakistan - Expected Social Behavior

(Authors Warning: No pics here! God damn it)

Question: What would be the effect of having nude beaches in Pakistan?

Answer: First thing first.. half of Pakistan would be standing on boundary of the beach trying to get a glimpse of anyone on the beach.

Then someone will make a secret mobile video of beach.. then this video will be forwarded like hell to everyone who is anyone and they'll say 'This is Islamic republic of Pakistan!", "What a shame! this is a Islamic country"- though they themselves will check the pics and videos first till their hearts content.

The Fast Lane in Pakistan

Although Pakistan observes the right-hand driving system, the fast lane is on the left.

Creative Product Name

Just saw a baby pot having the following name.

'Royal Potty - A throne of their own'