Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Monday, October 25, 2010
Four Weddings (of a muslim) and a Funeral (of common sense)
X: More than one marriage is allowed for man. It is our belief as a muslim.
I: Not for fun brother.
X: some times first wife is not beautiful so man has to do 2nd marriage in order to keep himself away from adultery.
I: That was really a very sick reason my brother :)
X: It is allowed in Islam for 2nd marriage or further. I don't say that if wife is not beautiful then husband has right to misbehave with her. Wife is wife, husband is bound to give him full rights which includes care and love also.
But be realistic, sometime man is not satisfy with her ugly wife and this thing also effects the relation between them. So 2nd marriage is the solution in that case, for first wife also.
I: why do you relate it to sexual lust only? If she is not pretty so the husband follows the course of adultery?! how brilliant. When Quran teaches you to abstain from sex.. why cant you do that?
X: Man should be away from adultery but marriage is the right way for this purpose. In Islam 4 marriages are allowed.
I: Suppose a man marries 4 ladies.. what is the guarantee that this will not happen? 'some times .. wife is not beautiful so man has to do ... marriage in order to keep himself away from adultery.'?
X: Islam is actually best guidance for man. Man should take advantage of support from Islam in order to refrain from adultery.
I: so why cant you refrain from adultery while being with the first wife? Is not Islam the best guidance for man in one wife's case?
X: In Islam four wives are allowed!
I: hehe! ok :)
Related Posts
- Polygamy in Islam - The Quranic Perspective
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Rights in A Muslim Marriage (Pakistan)
1. Haq Mehr: An Essential Right
2. Inheritance
a) What to do if your rights have been violated in Inheritance.
3. Other Rights in Marriage
4. Maintenance
a) What to do if your rights have been violated in Maintenance
5. Dissolution of Marriage
6. The Importance of Following Divorce Procedure
7. Talaq
a) The importance of Judicial Notice in Talaq
8. Khula
9. Judicial Divorce - Dissolution of Muslim Marriages Act 1939
10. Option of Puberty
Haq Mehr: An Essential Right
As an essential requisite of marriage, haq mehr is always due to the wife, no matter whether it has been written and specified in the marriage contract nor not (clauses 13-16). Mehr is one of the most basic rights of a married woman and therefore the custom of writing the purely symbolic amount of Rs 32.50 effectively denies women the benefit of their marriage rights.
If it has not been fixed in the nikahnama, it is known as ‘mehr ul misl’ or proper dower and the court will then set it by taking into account her status and the mehr given to her close female relatives. If the mehr has been fixed it can be prompt (mehr moajjal) or deferred (ghair moajjal or mu’wajjal) or split into parts some of which is prompt and some of which is deferred. If it is not specified which form the mehr is, it is assumed to be prompt.
Mehr can be in the shape of land, jewellery, cash or gold. Gold is preferable and its weight should be written in the nikahnama, which offers the wife some protection against inflation, whereas written cash amounts can become worthless after a few years.
| Type of Mehr | When it can be Claimed | Rights |
| prompt |
| Wife can refuse to consummate the marriage or to continue living with husband until it is paid. She can go to court to seek payment up to three years after husband refuses to pay. This is the best form of mehr as it gives the wife the greatest flexibility and control over her mehr. |
| deferred |
| On husband’s death, mehr is a debt that has to be paid before his property is divided among his heirs. Can be claimed in a court within three years of divorce or death of husband. |
| mehr ul misl |
| as for prompt mehr |
| all forms of mehr |
|
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Inheritance
Inheritance is the only area of family law where there are different provisions for different sects, the major difference being over the share given to daughters when there is no male heir.
| As Daughter |
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| As Wife |
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| As Mother |
|
Inheritance: What to do if your rights have been violated
By taking a firm stand against customary practices, the courts strongly uphold women’s right to inherit moveable and immovable property such as agricultural land. The courts do not accept a brother’s claim that they are maintaining their sister and therefore do not need to give them their share of inheritance. Any agreement surrendering inheritance rights which does not fulfill the following conditions is illegal under the Contract Act of 1872:
- the agreement must be in writing;
- the agreement must be witnesses and registered;
- the agreement must be voluntary and made out of natural love and affection.
Other Rights in Marriage
Courts do not enforce customary practices: There are many issues related to marriage where the law has taken a firm stand in favour of women rights. For example an agreement between families regarding an exchange marriage (e.g., watta satta, addo baddo and pait likkhi) cannot be enforced through a court of law if one of the parties breaks the agreement. Similarly, engagement agreements and have no force in law.
The Dowry and Bridal Gifts (Restriction) Act 1976 means that giving a jehez of more than Rs 5,000 carries a penalty - for the bride’s family but not for the bride. The courts insist that jehez and bridal gifts (e.g. salami) are the property of the wife alone and in the event of divorce or separation will not allow husbands to keep any jehez valued over Rs 5,000 just because this jehez is in excess of the legal limit.
Maintenance
| Rights | What Counts as Maintenance |
Under Sec.9 MFLO:
| All necessary expenses for mental and physical well-being, including but not limited to food, clothing, lodging; expenses for delivery of child are also included in maintenance. |
| Post-divorce maintenance is only recognised by Pakistani law if a provision is written into the nikahnama (clause 20) or any agreement is made in this regard. | Can be in the form of a lump sum payment or monthly payment. |
Maintenance: What to do if your rights have been violated
Failure to provide maintenance is one of the most common violations of women’s rights within marriage. To secure maintenance, the wife can either apply to the Union Council or to the Family Courts.
| Forum | Procedure | Appeal | Advantages | Problems |
| Union Council | Arbitration Council formed (Union Council Chairman + representative of each wife and husband)decides by majority, (Chairman has deciding vote) & issues certificate specifying amount taking into account family’s status and husband’s income | wife or husband can apply to the Collector (who is the D.C.) within 30 days on payment of small fee for maintenance amount to be revised upwards or downwardsthere can be no further appeal | no lawyer needed easily accessible, close to wife’s homeusually decided within 2-3 months | Arbitration Council usually pressures wife to reconcilehusband caninfluence proceedingsmaintenance amount often very lowweak enforcement mechanism |
| Family Court |
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Dissolution of Marriage
A Muslim Marriage is a contract and can be dissolved like any other contract. It is automatically dissolved on the death of one of the spouses. Other than this, both wife and husband have legal and religious rights to dissolve a marriage. A husband has the unilateral right of talaq, which can never be taken away but can be restricted through the nikahnama (clause 19). A wife can dissolve her marriage unilaterally only if the right of divorce has been unconditionally delegated to her by the husband in the nikahnama (clause 18).
Other forms of dissolution of marriage which the wife can use are khula and judicial divorce (including option of puberty). These both have to be sought through the Family Courts.
The Importance of Following Divorce Procedures
No matter whether the marriage has been dissolved through talaq, khula or judicial divorce, it is vital that legal procedures be properly followed. Failure to do so can raise doubts about the effectiveness of the divorce and lead to serious legal problems, such as a case of bigamy and zina against a woman who later remarries, or difficulties in settling issues related to the divorce such as past maintenance or claiming deferred haq mehr. The paternity of children can also be disputed.
| In addition to any court decree, the woman must make sure she collects her talaqnama certificate from the Union Council and keep it somewhere safe. |
Talaq
| Procedure | Role of Union Council | When Effective | Penalty for Violation of Procedure |
| By husband under husband pronounces talaq and sends written notice by registered post to the Union Council, mentioning address where wife |
|
| simple imprisonment for up to one year and/or a fine of up to As 5,000 |
The Importance of Registered notice of Talaq
A verbal talaq is not recognised by law and the husband’s failure to send written notice to the Union Council makes the talaq ineffective. Even if the Union Council issues a certificate of talaq, if notice was not properly served on the wife, the talaq can be challenged. This law was originally designed to protect women from a instant and unrecorded divorce. Before 1979 and the introduction of the Zina Ordinance, a woman who was not properly divorced and who later remarried could be punished for bigamy and sentenced up to 7 years (or up to 10 years if she concealed the previous marriage) and only on the complaint of her first husband. However, since 1979, bigamy makes a woman liable to charges of zina which can carry very severe penalty such as death. Therefore, it is vital for a woman to be absolutely clear about her marital status and to have documentary proof that she is properly divorced.
Notice of talaq can be served on a wife (with the Union Council’s permission) through her father, mother, adult brother or sister – but no other relatives. If this is not possible because her whereabouts are not known and notice cannot be served on her through her immediate family, the husband can still serve notice through a newspaper approved by the Union Council.
Sometimes families make the mistake of refusing to receive a registered notification, fearing that it is notice of talaq. This is dangerous because notice can then be served through a newspaper and the talaq will be effective, but the woman will be unaware of her status.
Talaq-i-Tafweez and Mubarat
In both of these forms of divorce, there is no need to approach the courts, meaning that the marriage can be dissolved rapidly, cheaply and with few procedural problems.
| Form | Procedure |
| Mubarat | By wife & husband mutually under Sec.8 MFLO:couple sends written notification of mubarat to Union Council, which then proceeds as if has received notice of talaq(see table above)once iddat is over, Union Council issues certificate of divorce to husband and wife |
| Talaq-i-Tafweez | by wife under Sec.8 MFLO, only if she has delegated right of divorce (talaq-i-tafweez) specified in nikahnama (clause 18)wife sends written notice (in the same manner as the husband, if he was to dissolve the marriage through talaq) to Union Council, which then proceeds as if it has received notice of talaq (see table above)once iddat is over, Union Council issues certificate of divorce to husband and wife |
| Comments: |
|
Khula
Khula, which literally means ‘untying the knot’, is the dissolution of marriage initiated by the wife and is granted by the court.
| Procedure | Grounds & Proof | When Effective |
| By wife under Sec. 8 MFLO: wife files suit for khula in Family Court Family Court issues decree and sends notification to Union Council Union Council proceeds as if has received notice of talaq (see table above) once iddat is over, Union Council issues certificate of divorce to husband and wife |
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| Comments: |
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Judicial Divorce - Dissolution of Muslim Marriages Act, 1939
Where the woman initiates the dissolution of marriage but regards the husband at fault, she approach the court for a judicial divorce.
| Procedure | Grounds & Proof | When Effective | |
| | Cruelty | General | |
| By wife under wife files suit for judicial divorce in Family Court Family Courtissues decree and sends notification to Union Council Union Council proceeds as if has received notice of talaq (see table above) once iddat is over, Union Council issues certificate of divorce to husband and wife |
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| Comments : |
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Option of Puberty
Child marriages are restricted and those responsible can be punished for violation, although a marriage contracted by a minor’s parents/guardian is not invalid. However, on becoming adult, the spouses have the right to repudiate the marriage and for a woman the procedure is through the courts.
| Procedure | Conditions |
by wife under Sec.8 MFLO and Dissolution of Muslim Marriages Act: woman aged between 16-18 files suit for option of puberty under DMMA in Family Court Family Court issues decree and notifies procedure to be followed | available provided marriage not consummated NOTE: if marriage consummated before wife aged16, courts consider this forced consummation and grant dissolution on grounds of option of puberty |
| Comments: | wife retains right to mehr and other benefits received from husband |
Check Related Post
- Divorce In Islam - The Quranic Perspective
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Temporary Marriages In Islam
Shia's Mutaa or Sunnis Misyar marriage contracts are temporary marriage that are made on the basis that 'people would avoid adultery'. These are for a fixed period (although sunnis maintain that its not so) and usually have no liabilities on contracting parties.
The idea that 'muslim soldiers remained on war front without their wives' or today's version of 'workers remain without their wives in other countries' are essentially the same.
Misyar marriage contracts are popular in Saudi where expensive dowry requirements have made marriages impossible to be made and thus have rendered a lot of women single. A definite problem.
Shia's refer to 4:24 for muta marriages. It has Arabic of 'fama istamtatum'.. meaning 'from whom you have benefited' (consummated marriage). It has the root word of 'mutaa' (benefit) and this verse is taken literally.. that since it has 'muta' in it, it was prevalent in times of Prophet Muhammad, he did not stop this practice and Caliph Omar did, Omar had no right so Mutaa as marriage is still intact.
Anyways.. the thing is that temporary marriages are not allowed whether of sunnis or shias's. Be chaste, refrain from adultery and if you cant find a mate.. be patient. The next verse states
4:25 - And whoso is not able to afford to marry free, believing women, let them marry from the believing maids... This is for him among you who feareth to commit sin. But to have patience would be better for you. Allah is Forgiving,
Related Post
Thursday, July 10, 2008
The Best Wedding Meal
I have attended wedding ceremonies and have eaten the food at offer. Till date, I have not had anything as delicious and as lovely as the 'khwancha roti' of Peshawar! I swear. There is no comparison. A 'khwancha' is a big tray that is meant to be a serving for four people. Normally nowadays they have buffet system where people absolutely go nuts when food is served. Khwancha roti system is much controlled and better managed as only four people per table are being served and if guests cant be accommodated at that time and then another sitting can be arranged.
A khwancha roti will usually consist of one large tray of rice made in 'daig' (one big cylinder/ container), at most 2 small bowls - one of meat and the other of lentils with meat, a bread on top of rice for anyone who wants it, a chicken inside rice, a dessert (kheer most probably) and one 'aalo bukhara chatnee'! awesome!
By the way, I am talking of general wedding meals and not specific 'big hot shot' offered ones. Peshawar rules! Do share your experience.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Polygamy in Islam- The Quranic Perspective
As a muslim, we all have heard that a man is allowed to have four wives. Want to see the verse of Quran? Here let me quote the most common version of this verse...
4:03 - Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.
But as always, we muslims read only what we want to read. Now read the whole verse.
4:03 - If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.
When you are told something regarding Islam or Quran, do not just blindly accept them. I urge you to pick up Quran and read for yourself this verse. Just as it was like in my previous post of Travel Prayers.
A muslim man is not allowed to have 4 wives as he chooses and pleases! The main purpose of polygamy in Islam according to this verse is the welfare and protection of orphans! to provide a family for them. Not merrymaking!
And even in Quran (4:129) it is being emphasized that monogamy is the best because you can not deal with multiple wives justly.
Peace.
---------------------------
Update 11th Sept, 2008
Recently, I have had the opportunity to discuss this verse and its possible interpretations. There is an opinion that the verse 4:03 discusses 'orphan girls' and not 'widows' as seems to be the case when verse 4:127 is taken into consideration.
When one goes on further in Sura Nisa and reads the verses, it becomes apparent that orphans as vulnerable, weak and requirement of a protective figure is being discussed. This can only happen if widow is married to and not the female orphans. This can be judged from following verse in which the orphans are advised to be married off in case they reach age of puberty. This cannot be possible if Verse 4:03 meant marrying orphan girls.
4:06 - Make trial of orphans until they reach the age of marriage; if then ye find sound judgment in them, release their property to them; but consume it not wastefully, nor in haste against their growing up. If the guardian is well-off, Let him claim no remuneration, but if he is poor, let him have for himself what is just and reasonable. When ye release their property to them, take witnesses in their presence: But all-sufficient is Allah in taking account.
All in all, Quran advises you to be monogamous (4:129) as God tells us that a man can't be that equitable with multiple wives. Muslim society is encouraged to arrange marriage of single people (24:32) and those who cannot afford marriage - they are advised to stay chaste (24:33). A person has to abstain from sex and he is allowed to do so only with his wife OR if he has a slave/ captive - not both (23:05-06).
Polygamy is allowed in Islam but it is restrictive in nature. The ONLY verse dealing with polygamy is in Sura Nisa (4:3) and that is context of orphans - and one thing is for sure that you cannot marry an other woman just because it pleases you or she is pretty! Even Prophet Muhammad was told not to do so! (33:52).
This Book (Quran) has clear and detailed verses (6:114) and there no doubt in it (2:2). We are advised not to attribute lies to Allah (6:22), not to setup our religious scholars and leaders as our lords (9:32) and not to seek any other source besides this Quran (77:50) otherwise the Prophet will complain on judgment day that we abandoned Quran (25:30).
Prophet's MarriagesThe logical question you would ask me is what do I have to say regarding Prophet Muhammad multiple marriages. Things are a bit different for Prophet and ordinary believers.
33:50 - O Prophet! We have made lawful to thee thy wives to whom thou hast paid their
dowers; ... and a believing woman if she give herself unto the Prophet and the Prophet desire to ask her in marriage - a privilege for thee only, not for the (rest of) believers
Marriage was a special case for Prophet. Certain privileges were given to Prophet and not to believers. Perhaps, the quoted marriage cases fall in that category.
Prophethood is not an easy job. Prophet was made to do things which he did not want.
33:37 - ... and you concealed in your soul what Allah would bring to light, and you feared men, and Allah had a greater right that you should fear Him. But when Zaid had accomplished his want of her, We gave her to you as a wife, so that there should be no difficulty for the believers in respect of the wives of their adopted sons,...
Check Also:
1 - Child Marriage in Islam
2 - Divorce in Islam - The Quranic Perspective
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Child Marriage and Islam
Child marriage as a phenomenon does exist in Muslim countries unfortunately. And more unfortunately it is traced back to Prophet Muhammad whom we muslims love to make a 'scapegoat'. Yes I am using this term because from this issue to an other where he is supposedly explaining motion of planets with a very poor knowledge of astronomy or where he is supposedly telling about various herbs to cure an ill - we muslims lovingly put the esteemed person's life in every possible difficult situation to which he had not even a remote connection.
Quran deals with variety of people and situations - marriage being one of them. Quran does not state specifically whether one can marry a child or that it is prohibited. Islam does consider marriage a sacred bond and requires parties to be 'aware' of what they are doing.
Consider the following verse..
4:24 - .... And those of whom ye seek content (by marrying them), give unto them their portions as a duty. And there is no sin for you in what ye do by mutual agreement after the duty (hath been done). Lo! Allah is ever Knower, Wise.
This verse talks about commencement of marriage and giving of dowry by the groom to the bride. This verse is stating that if bride and groom want - they can 'mutualy' agree on dowry. Now mutual agreement requires that both parties are mature enough to know what they are doing. Can a child possess this maturity? Does a girl 11 years old knows what she is doing? The answer is a 'No'. The 'mature' aspect of parties is not restricted to marriage only but also to Divorce (2:232) and matters related to Orphans (4:06).
Now the question is.. who is a 'mature' person? Or what is the age of 'majority'? Of course Islam does not mention it anywhere. Usually a person is called a 'major' if he/ she is 18 years of age or older - below than that is a 'minor'. This is the legal definition in most of the countries.
In Pakistan, law requires that bond of marriage be registered ('nikah nama' is the proof). Although there is no age restriction for getting married, the groom and the bride 'are supposed' to be aware of what they are signing on. It states conditionalities and rights including matters related to divorce. Only a mature person would know what he/ she is dealing with. All the discussion above is indicative of the fact that marriage is not a childs play.
That being said, how can we counter the phenomenon of Child Marriage. For one we can inform people not to put religion as a basis to child marriage because this is not the case. Two, we can impress upon people to use their common sense! How on earth can you make a child become party to marriage?! This is sheer injustice! If the society condones it then make sure that norms change! Even go for regulations in Law to stop child marriages!
Child marriage is an abominable act. Do not do it.
Update (19th November 2008)
A visitor dropped a very useful link here, it basically debunks the myth that Prophet Muhammad married Ayesha at the age of 9. Do read it. Thank you Saadia.
Also Check My Posts On:
1 - Divorce in Islam - The Quranic Perspective
2 - Polygamy In Islam- The Quranic Perspective
